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2 Bumps

Boyfriend & Baby daddy problem ....

I have a 8 month old ... & I'm with the baby's father, but we don't live together. I live at home with my parents... It is my choice why we don't live together. He has his own house in a not so good neighborhood, I'd rather our child not live there. So we are waiting untill we can get a better house in a better location.

He works from 3 pm to 12 am . SO he comes over everyday at 12:00 p.m and leaves for work at 3:00 pm. (3 hrs.) everyday. I take care of our baby every day, every night...I don't go out and party or hang out with friends. He will come home (to his house) on the weekends and "party" .... drink.... hang 0ut with friends... & I'm up with the baby alllllll night & day... It's my choice why we don't live together, so I feel like he can do whatever he wants. But I am bitter & jealous! ... HELP! Is he doing anything wrong or is it just me?... How do I cope with this?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:57 AM on Jun. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • IMO 3 hours a day is barely any time
    and if it is just the three hours then I suggest pumping some breast milk, if you BF, and leaving and getting ME time
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 4:01 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Well, granted it was your choice... but you are TOGETHER. Maybe ask him to take ya'lls baby for a weekend so you can have some you time. I think that is what the real problem is. Your not jealous, but I think you are bitter that he is getting to relax and have some him time and you are not. Ask him and then go from there. GL!

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 4:02 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I agree with the other ladies. It's really important that you be able to do some things for yourself. I would ask him to take the baby so that you can have an evening out with the girls.
    ErinRenee815

    Answer by ErinRenee815 at 4:34 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I don't things would be any different if the two of you lived in the same house. What he is doing is an indication of his character and those traits don't very often change. I think that deep down inside, you know that he enjoys being footloose and fancy free, and that makes you angry. What he is doing is just an indication of who he is as a person, and he is not someone I would want my daughter and my grandchild living with. My advice to you would be to let him go, and wait for a man who wants a wife and a family.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:38 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • How long have you lived apart and when do you plan on living together again? Did he do this before when you lived together? Is he motivated to find a place for you to live together again?
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 9:03 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I think you are tired, and you need a break. Even if you two were living together, and he was helping out more, I think you would be feeling some resentment and jealousy towards him. First of all, you need talk to him about it. If you don't speak up, he will not know that things are bothering you, and he will continue his behavior. Next, you need to get him or grandma to watch the baby, even if for only an hour, so you can get a break. Constant caring of a child is hard, and everyone deserves a break. I had a similar problem with my DH and our first. We lived together, and he was not helping much. However, he was taught that this was acceptable. His father was never around because he was working all the time. I had to fight with my DH to get him in the game, and eventually he turned around. He still has his moments, but it all started with some conversation. Good luck.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 10:58 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

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