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How do you know if your husband is lieing?

My husband is in Iraq and I signed in to his email and found messeges from two dating websites. I logged into both of them since it wasnt hard to figure out the passwords and he has his picture there and looking for women. When I asked him about it he said he didnt do it that someone has hacked into his account. He messed up a couple years ago and is still fighting to get his life back with the army. He said he isnt stupid enough to make that bad choice again. Which I believe that but all emails on these accounts have been deleted and when I called the customer service lines they said it hasnt been used in 6 months. It was opened and used for a week or so and that was it. How do I find out if he is telling me the truth? And if he is how can I find out who did this to him?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:08 AM on Jun. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Truthfully to me there is nothing else you can do. But wait and see what he will do next. I found porn sights on my DH's laptop. But I have not said anything to him about it. As far as I know he does not know I know. I think you should not have brought it up to him so quickly. Now if he is doing something, he will just open a different email(hide it from you.
    If you find out he is messing around on you, what are you going to do? Leave him? or stat with him?

    Answer by louise2 at 7:20 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • When he cheated 3 years ago he was just home from his first tour to iraq he had a new wife and a 5month old baby. He was really messed up. I forgave him cause I loved him and the day I found out I also found out I was pregnant with our son. He got in a lot of trouble with the army and was demoted. We are still trying to get his rank back after 3 years. So I dont think he is CHEATING but if he did make these sites then I will leave him until he gets he act together and if he doesnt then it will be divorice. I love him and it doesnt make any sense that he would do this. We are both finally in a place that our marriage is perfect and our family is growing and we are happy. I think someone else did this, I have access to everyone of his accounts including the army ones. If he was trying to hide something then why would he give me permission to take this to the command

    Answer by athenagmb at 7:30 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I am not saying he is. But if he has cheated before, he might/will do it again. (In my eyes). You know of the e-mails he want you to know of. He could have one you do not know of. I will tell you to not say anything to him about it anymore, just monitor his actions with out hin knowing. See what happens.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:36 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Maybe he is telling the truth. It is most likely very hard to trust him since he cheated before and that is going to be in your mind. But if was opened six months ago, used for a week and that was it that means that it isn't being used now. Also, does he know that you check his email? If so, wouldn't he have tried to get on and delete them first or open an email you didn't know about in the beginning? Does he have a facebook or myspace account? I have a few friends that have had their pages hacked and their emails used. I don't know if you can find out ever for sure, this is where trust comes in.

    Answer by JamieLK at 9:40 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • It sounds like He is not telling the truth because why would it be His account somebody screwed with?

    Answer by From2to3 at 9:41 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I agree with louise2, just keep the situation monitored and hope he is telling the truth.

    Answer by older at 9:41 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • i think he went to the dating site. I don't know how many times i've heard "someone hacked me" that is just so lame IMO...He was probably just bored & curious.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:51 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • It sounds like he screwed up for a week but realized he was wrong and stopped

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 11:40 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • hands down he set up the accounts but he hasnt been active on it for 6 mths. all u can do is hope for the best and keep your eyes open and stop making excuses for him.. a lot of soldiers go to iraq and they dont get into trouble/get demoted/ cheat on their spouse. hopefully he continues to do right by you and your kids.

    Answer by 3xangel at 5:46 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Um, I think he went to the dating site. Who would hack just to upload his photos to a dating site? That doesn't necessarily mean he is cheating or cheated, it means he was tempted to do so and took one step toward it. Did you see any messaging or anything on the dating site accounts? Were the passwords personal? It means that he is lying to you now and he needs to fess up or you have some serious issues with deceit in your marriage. I think you need couples counseling, maybe renewed session if you had it before, does the military offer it?

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 3:33 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

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