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What's your favorite funny quote?

Weather it's from a card, a person, or even a billboard. What's you favorite funny quote?

Mine is: 'As each day passes, you grow older, weaker. I've been working out. Revenge is near. Happy Father's Day'

It makes me laugh every time i see it.


Asked by SolaraDarkset at 1:25 PM on Jun. 26, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 16 (3,106 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

    Answer by nickynova at 1:26 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Oh and this :)
    "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

    Answer by nickynova at 1:27 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Wait I have more :)
    The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
    Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
    I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
    Ok ok I'll stop :)

    Answer by nickynova at 1:30 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize what you heard was not what I meant.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 1:26 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • "Thats 20lbs of crazy in a 5lb bag" from the TNT show Leverage.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 1:31 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • "He who laughs last thinks slowest."

    Answer by neebug3766 at 1:32 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

    Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!

    No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.

    Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money

    These are all from George Carlin. I am a christian but I think the last one is just really funny.

    Answer by mom2queenie2004 at 1:51 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • My sister told me this one: "The grass always looks greener on the other side, but when you get close, you realize that it is just a bunch of weeds."

    So funny and so true!

    Answer by ARgal at 1:53 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • LOL ARgal!!! Too funny!!

    Answer by smokeybear at 10:17 AM on Jun. 27, 2010