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Does your hubby ALWAYS remind you of how hard they work?

i know sometimes my hubby feels overworked and underappreciated, hell we all do sometimes, but he just acts sometimes like i OWE him a pat on the back. i do tell him hes doing a great job as a father, and helping us a lot with all the work he does, etc but he makes it seem like i should be waiting on him hand and foot almost and praising him bc he says "most guys his age arent trying to work and provide for their family", like he deserves an extra pat on the back for sticking around. i feel like we are both doing what we are supposed to do. and i dont get all the pats on the back that i would like, but i still continue to do what im supposed to do, and i dont try to rub in the fact that i could do it without him. so should i just suck it up and feed his ego even when he doesnt act worthy of the praise all the time?!


Asked by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Jun. 26, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • Let me apologize if you felt that I got you wrong. I had no notion or preconceived ideas about you, or how you treat your husband. I'm sorry if i gave that impression. Not something I would do on purpose.. :-)

    My first response was strictly sharing what goes on withe me and my hubby. The second, simply got curious and asked a man that I have witnessed do that. Nothing more nothing less.

    I believe that it is EXTREMELY important for both partners to show one another their appreciation on a regular basis. I/my husband learned the hard way many years ago, how much damage not appreciating one another can do to a marriage. Our marriage nearly ended (now married 24 yrs). I think both partners need , want and in most cases deserve appreciation/acknowledgement and respect for who they are, what they are and what they do for each other and their family.

    Again. I 'm sorry if my answers came off the wrong way.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 9:45 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • My ex husband used to do this all the time
    My current husband does not.


    Answer by layh41407 at 3:49 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I don't quite know how to answer this. I've never had a problem "feeding" my husband's ego. I've learned that most men like to feel like a hero to their family. They like to know that they are not replaceable in any way. So that's what I do. I thank him for everything he does for our family, I listen when he has crappy days at work, and I just flat out thank him for how hard he works. Because of him I get to stay home and be with my babies like I want so an extra pat on his back is worth it to me.


    Answer by Daemons_mommy at 3:52 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Men are way different from women. What a man needs most from his wife is appreciation for the way he provides for his family. If wives will listen closely, husbands will tell them what they need. Yours is telling you!! Here's the dirty little secret, if you will give him what he needs and be nothing but sincere about it, you will find that you will get more of what you need. There's a lovely little book entitled FOR BETTER OR FOR BEST by Gary Smalley that you should get for yourself and read. All that stuff you've been wanting and needing from your husband is right at your very fingertips. You just gotta know how to get it flowing. The first step is to always be sincere in anything you say to him. If you just spout platitudes, he will spot the phoniness a mile away, and he will crawl into his shell and stay there.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:19 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • mine likes to remind me that he earns the paycheck

    Answer by MomOfDagJag at 3:48 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • ALWAYS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL i say my feet hurt he says I worked all day I say i have to poop he says I worked all day see where i'm going with this :)

    Answer by nickynova at 3:48 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I know mine reminds me all of the time but I am currently a college student and it will not be forever soon my production compan will be making money and we will be even. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:51 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Yes. Usually it's when he's had a bad day at work, and I'm the easiest target.

    Example: Yesterday, after a bad day at work, we were in the car on the way to Lowe's. We passed the salon I go to and I said "I need a haircut." He gets suddenly pissy and says "Great! Just one more way for you to spend the money I work hard for."

    He apologized shortly afterwards, but - it still sucked.

    Answer by DusterMommy at 4:13 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I totally concur with everything LOVINGSAHMOMMY said! Same here only it gets harder with two at home two years apart, its like they tag team me sometimes LOL One day after taking both to the grocery store and coming home to unload all the groceries in the 100 degree heat, hubby says to me "you look mad, what's wrong?" To which I replied, have you EVER spent every waking moment, every second, every minute of everyday with your kids? Then I come home and make not one, not two, but FIVE trips to the truck to unload groceries while I pass you each trip IN your recliner. He was stunned, and apologized but still let him shop for an hour for 2wks worth of groceries while the 5yr old walks and wants to have a conversation with you on every lovin thing HE wants to put in the cart and the 3yr old meanwhile is singing EVERY song she knows using her loud voice. Then only to come home to him in his recliner :( Those days SUCK

    Answer by Heather_F at 4:25 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • he does it but mostly when i pinch a nerve like for instance i would say babe can u change the babies diaper or can u help wash the dishes or like can u take out the trash or heck can i just get some help around here heck im tired then thats when he will say well baby im tired also i work and i say well i work to he think just because im a sahm i got it soooo easy and he is so wrong i tell ya some men think they got it sooo hard

    Answer by mymommasgirl at 4:28 PM on Jun. 26, 2010