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3 Bumps

How can we make it stick this time?

me and my husband have been seperated since October of last year and we are planning on moving back in together in August. We have a 2 year old. What can we do to make things work this time around. We argue a lot but it's over stupid stuff. But we love each other and miss each other.

 
fairyinabubble

Asked by fairyinabubble at 5:01 PM on Jun. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,643 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • dont let the small things get to ya both of ya have to be strong okay!!
    christine121

    Answer by christine121 at 5:07 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I've heard it said that if someone wins an argument then the marriage loses. Personally I let a lot of things go in my marriage for the sake of the marriage. We used to argue about a lot of really stupid things but there's been a lot more peace since I've decided to let things just roll off my back (unless it's a real issue). It hasn't been easy to let things go for the sake of avoiding an argument, but one thing that I've noticed is this - it was so much harder at first but with practice it's a lot easier.
    luvmycutebaby

    Answer by luvmycutebaby at 5:08 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • easy- dont argue over stupid things. i love my dh so much and sometimes i let the little things he does that get on my nerves slide- why? because i want us to have as many good days as we possibly can and arguing kills it. you both have to work on yourselves and then work together on your marriage. focus on making it work and having more good times than bad, im sure you will succeed
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 5:18 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Agree to follow certain rules when arguing. No name-calling. No dredging up of past grievances- stick to the present subject. If it gets to shouting, then move to separate rooms. Consider carefully if it really matters that you win. If it would make him feel better if he won, and IF YOU LOVE HIM, then let him win, or at least back down. And if it turns out that you were right after all, never tell him so. Choose your battles is another way of putting it. If saving face is important to him, then go out of your way to help him save face. Why would someone deliberately try to make someone they loved lose face.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 5:19 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I was in the same boat as you a few years ago. We got back together and are the same people but we treat each other differently. It makes all the difference in the world! So I second everything everyone else said but would add, focus on yourself and what you bring to the relationship. Let him do the same. Give when you think you can't anymore and do nice things for each other. I used to get mad when my husband was in a bad mood. Now I support him and try to be there and take up the slack. It avoids fights and let's him know he can count on me even when he's not 100%. He does the same for me and it works.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:20 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

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