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3 Bumps

TMI questions about sex...was my fiance in the wrong?

My faince and I were having sex lastnight. It was great, we were haviving fun till he decides he wants anal. I hate anal with a firey passion. He knows it, he tells me im just beigng stigny. He kept tyring stick his finger, and the lil vibrater thing in. I was laughing only because I didnt thinke he was serious. Then he trys to put his penis in and it was hurting...he thinks its ok to stick the head in even if I tell him no then continue to have sex like its no biggie. I dont want him going from my but back to my va jay jay even if its just the head its disgusting. Well he kept pushing so I finnaly told him to stop beccause I had a hemroid last time I went to the bathroom. I had a baby five months ago so im not sure if it ever went compeltley away. So then he got mad at me. I dont thinke he has the right to be mad, if anyone has a ritht to be angry it should be me. I dont think I should have had to tell him to make him stop.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Jun. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • You have every right to be mad thats a very sensitive area and if you dont like he needs to respect that! Tell him going from butt to vagina is very unhealthy and you can get bad infections from that.
    He needs to respect your wishes.

    Answer by Trotterswife at 5:28 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • You should be angry... No means NO!

    Why would you stay with a guy who disregards your feeling so much?

    He sounds like a pig and you need to set him straight.

    I am all for people having whatever kind of sex they long as both partners are in agreement about it.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 5:29 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Your fiance was totally wrong! It's your body and If you say no, he should respect your decision.

    Answer by MomMom23 at 5:30 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • He was wrong...its VERY unsanitary to go from anal to the vagina like that. My husband would NEVER EVER pull that kind of stunt.

    If you say no, he needs to respect that as well but stay firm dont giggle and think he will still stop cuz then he thinks you arent serious so he keeps going.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 5:30 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Even if you were into it, going from butt to vagina can cause problems. And he shouldn't have been pushing something you're not into in the first place.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 5:31 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Sex needs to be consensual, what he was doing is not. This is something you need to seriously discuss because it is important for both of you to feel safe and secure in a sexual relationship. How wold he feel if you forcibly tried to shve your fingers up HIS rectum? And of course it is a real health concern to switch back and forth. You are definatly not in the wrong here.

    Answer by ethans_momma06 at 5:33 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Thanks to all who answered. I know he is wrong. I dont undrestaned why he gets like that. He thiks its "fun" yeah for him it is. I dont mind playing aorund,but when I tell him to stop he needs to stop. He dont know when to quit though. I dont like that he thought he had the right to be mad. I dont think I should have had to tell him aobut the hemriod for him to stop. He said he would not have even tried if he knew, he should not have tried anyways because he knows I dont like it. After he got all mad we went to bed, and he mumbled something about stupid relationship. I had my head coverd so I didnt catch it all and he would not repeat it. He is not mad today, its like it never happend. But im still irritatated about it.

    Answer by Lilcountrygrl86 at 5:41 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • If that's not your thing then he needs to understand that. You can get a nasty infection from him going from your butt to your vagina.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 5:44 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • If you need to get his attention, make him understand that if you say no or stop and he continues, that is rape/ sexual assault. You can press charges with the police. He needs to get it! If he doesn't get it or if he dismisses your feelings, you need to really re-evaluate your relationship.

    Answer by musichollie at 6:07 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Respect for one another's feelings in regards to sexual/sexual activity is extremely important in a relationship. Lack of respect, communication, and honesty in regards to sex can and do cause quite a few problems in many relationships.

    This man seems to have NO respect for your feelings or wishes, when it comes to sex.. Makes me wonder how he is in other areas of your relationship in terms of respecting you.

    If you need a "right or wrong" answer.. I can't give you that.. In what little you shared, the communication on both or your parts was lacking, and there was also miscommunication as well.

    The two of you should really do some heart to heart talking about respecting one another's feelings and wishes. As well as discussing your sex life and what is or isn't okay, what's off limits and why.......

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:08 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

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