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Does your child play with him/herself?

My 4 yr old daughter has been touching herself in her private area. Nothing extreme but she rubs herself or stuffs a blanket down her underwear then pulls it out. I tell her to stop and she will, but then later I catch her doing it again. I don't want to punish or scold her wrongly for doing it but its becoming a habit that she won't stop doing. I try explaining that its wrong, but then I don't want to send the message that its wrong to be curious about yourself in that area. Except she's 4 and obviously she's not going to understand me. My 7 yr old never did this and I don't know what to do. My husband is upset because he thinks its very WRONG and he actually scolds her loudly. I try explaining that maybe she's just curious but he thinks its inappropriate for her age. What do I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on Jun. 26, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  •  It's normal at this age. Luckily, my Son doesn't do it much..but when He does, I tell Him to go in His room or the bathroom where no one can see because that is a private matter. He stops and moves on to something else.


    Answer by ajtherad at 7:14 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • You tell her that that is something that she can do in her alone time. In her room when no one else is there, or in the bath. And now would also be a good time to talk about how no one else should ever touch her there and if someone does she needs to tell you right away.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 6:59 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I did that as a kid and got yelled at a lot! All the yelling did was make me go hide to do it. And it was "naughty" so I wanted to do it more.

    I would just tell her, she is allowed to do it, but only in her room because it is private. She won't want to miss out on the fun in the rest of the house so she will not do it as much.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 7:01 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • My son did when he was learning how to use the potty but not really any more. I have never told him off for it but told him not to do in front of me and to go to his room. I guess the novelty wore off because he didn't want to get off the couch to 'go play' LOL

    Answer by Awakened1 at 7:03 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • My daughter is doing that already too, and sometimes she is red, and swollen, or she has scratches so I dont want her doing it. But its normal for kids to be curious, and if they think it feels good they will really want to do it. I even did it as a child, and my mom would tell me to go to my room, so I would.... With the door WIDE open... lol

    Answer by xoladinluvxo16 at 7:18 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Very normal at this age for girls and boys. i simply tell both my children that it is only something they do in private and they do. I would check to see if she is red or swollen though to make sure she doesn't have an infection of something causing pain or itching.

    Answer by aeneva at 9:56 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • My son is almost 3 he stretches it like it's a rubberband. It is very normal at this age. My older son did it too

    Answer by CLewis1226 at 10:40 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • All 3 of mine do/have done this, just explain about privacy.

    Answer by cedailey at 11:42 AM on Jun. 27, 2010