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Legal Question about Custody

OK, so really long story short: I am no longer with the father of my 16 month old daughter, haven't been since like November '09. Since December he has only seen her about 3 times, and had little contact because he didn't have a phone and didn't call for her birthday. Now he has a phone and is staying with some friends about an hour and half away. He saw her last weekend for Father's Day, she doesn't really know who he is, she acts the same way with him that she does with the people she knows from my church. Now the here's the problem: He says he wants to come to where I'm living, with my parents and my daughter, and pick up Kyree for the weekend. I said no, because he hasn't seen her enough for her to be comfortable staying with him away from me. Now, what our his rights and my rights regarding my daughter in this situation? See first post for additional information regarding conversation with the dad last night.

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Angyll24

Asked by Angyll24 at 7:24 PM on Jun. 26, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 4 (50 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • The night before he said this, he had said he wanted to see her. I told him for the next two weeks I would be busy, I'm taking a science course at the local college, but after that I would not be as busy. I also said that after the two weeks, I would go with him to his dad's, by the coast (several hours away) because his dad has been asking to see her and it would give my daughter's dad a chance to get to know his daughter and her routines and for her to get comfortable with him. And that after that week with his dad I would feel more comfortable with him watching Kyree overnight. he said that sounded good.
    Angyll24

    Comment by Angyll24 (original poster) at 7:26 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Are you married? If so then his rights are no different than yours. Father's rights differs from state to state, but I believe as a general rule you would be considered the custodial parent (if unmarried) because you are the primary caregiver, giving you the freedom to say when he can and cannot see her. If he doesn't like it then he should take you to court and get a custody/visitation agreement in writing.

    SRiveroC

    Answer by SRiveroC at 7:31 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • You need to go to court and set up legal custody and vistitation because right now neither you or him has legal custody he could take her and there would be nothing you could do. You should check the laws in your state. You should slowly allow him back into her life. But first make it legal about custody
    ladybug0614

    Answer by ladybug0614 at 7:31 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Well it sounds like the two of you are working it out...

    Is he on the birth certificate? If so, he has equal rights as far as the child is concerned. It's a good sign that he is wanting visitation again. The more your child spends time with her father, the more comfortable she'll be around him. Try short, daytime visits for awhile, then try the overnights.

    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 7:33 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • But you really should work out custody. Like the pp said, he could take the child and there's legally nothing you can do. Ask for sole custody, and that the father be granted liberal visitation. Also seek child support.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 7:34 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • This isn't really about custody as it is about visitation. He does have rights but you either have to agree on them or he has to take you to court.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:44 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I have set up child support and I'm the custodial parent. No we were never married, and he IS on the birth certificate. I'm all for him being involved in her life and starting off with day visits, not overnight. He wants to go straight to overnight and I'm not going to let him. I'm waiting for a lady from my church, who is a lawyer, to get back to me so I can talk to her and ask her questions.
    Angyll24

    Comment by Angyll24 (original poster) at 7:55 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

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