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How do you recover when someone has rejected you?

Someone I had thought was a friend, our young sons played together, well he turned out to be a nasty person. My husband isn't helpful because he thinks I should have figured this out months ago but I didn't. I wanted everything to be nice. This supposed friend hurt me so bad with his rejection and I feel like I don't have enough in me to be able to bounce back. Do other people feel hurt like this? What do you do? I have been crying off and on all day and I couldn't take a shower because I was afraid I would not be able to quit crying. Will it be better tomorrow? How can I feel better? What can I do?

 
LauraMi261

Asked by LauraMi261 at 9:03 PM on Jun. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,913 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I have had friends that I have gotten close to--of BOTH sexes--and had a sudden rejection really turn my world upside down. Not because I was in love with them or involved romantically, but because in many cases when not just your lives but your kids' lives are intertwined, it just seems to come out of left field. No reason given, and you worry so much that it was you, and it's not just your pain you're feeling but your child's too. Some people just decide to be assholes, no logic to it. Sometimes they've been nursing some slight (or imagined slight) without saying anything until they blow. The hardest part is not having closure. I'm sorry, LauraMi261. It really sucks but I unfortunately have no easy fixes for you.
    Cassidhes_Mom

    Answer by Cassidhes_Mom at 11:35 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • My neighbor, who was my good friend, suddenly without warning ended our friendship. I never have found out why. Its been 21 years and I still don't know. Her daughter married my husband's nephew, so we see each other at different functions. She doesn't speak. For the life of me I don't know why. I asked her soon after and she said she just felt it was best. Best????? I apologized for whatever I did or said in-case it hurt her feelings. Nothing. So, I was done. My life went on. There just isn't room for me to dwell on something I couldn't even find a clue to lead me in a direction so I could solve it. You'll be ok.
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 10:35 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • It's rough when somebody you like and trust turns out to be not a friend after all. I always say consider the source. Are you really hurt because of the rejection of this nasty person? He's not a nice guy, you should be relieved that you no longer will invest time in being what you thought was his friend. Of course it hurts. But it will get better.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:16 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I usually remind myself that I am an amazing person regardless of whether or not some person takes the time to see it..
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 9:20 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • im feelin a lil hurt right now too, for similar reasons. a guy friend was suppose to bring his daughter over for a play date today and my kids were excited about it, and its now 930 pm and the guy wont even answer my texts. im just frustrated and cant figure out why all the sudden he wants to stop hangin out, and acts like i dont exist. the past few weeks he was wantin to go to the park, pool, come over ect. im tryin not to let it get to me, and my kids got over it....
    i know it sucks, people suck thats all thats to it
    gothmama91

    Answer by gothmama91 at 10:34 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I'm not sure I understand. You are married and have a male friend with children, and you feel "rejected?!" How so? Did you have feelings for this person--beyond friendship? Is your friend married?

    Regardless of those questions, if he did something that hurt you, did you talk about it with him? Did you inadvertently say something to offend him? Does he even realize that he hurt you?

    I think the most helpful thing you can do to help you get over this loss of a friendship, is to REALLY think back and reflect on the moment when things first took a turn for the worse. Be honest. If you said or did something that could have been considered offensive, why did you say or do what you did? If it was the other way around, is this something that is more typical of his character, yet you chose to ignore the warning signs? Is this person REALLY a loss, or do you feel rejected because you are usually in control of your relationships?!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:14 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I wish I had more information to help you with this. The pain of your rejections depends on the circumstances of the situation. If they were just being jerks for no reason then you could say they weren't worth it. If you said or did something to upset them then the rejection could be more painful...see where I am going? Most friendships don't last forever so just learn the lesson and be more choosey with your friends. Good luck!
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:22 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • My dh and I met a couple when we lived in TX. My dh and the husband hit it off, they were really good friends. We spent a lot of time as couples. She and I walked in the mornings, and did some shopping and had some chats without our dh's. I thought she and I were friends. Until one day we were on the phone and she said her friend "M" invited her over but her dh didn't like M's dh. She said she and M were friends like my dh and her dh were friends and her dh only tolerated M's dh for her-just like she does with me. OUCH.I learned to not overestimate my importance again! And I choose my friends wisely. You'll get over it.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 1:03 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • The father of the kid reject you. I don't really understand. If you thought he was a friend and he turned out not to be then you move on. I don't understand why you are so upset that you can't stop crying.

    Though, I do hope you feel better soon.
    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 9:11 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • was he your friend or your lover? i dont understand why that would cause you so much pain if it was just a guyfriend
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 9:15 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

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