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how many moms here have been or are still being bullied by an ex?

My ex is so controlling and such a bully. He puts our son in the middle and its all because I wont give in to his demands for something as simple as what time we meet to exchange him. I just wondered how many other moms have a bullying ex and how you deal with him? I am at my wits end.....but still taking the high road.

 
Bearsjen

Asked by Bearsjen at 10:49 PM on Jun. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,279 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • i hope by "the high road" you don't mean you are giving in and not arguing...

    i have to say it is crap like this that makes me grateful my daughter's father wasn't in the picture ever...

    my bff dealt with psycho crap like you are dealing with times ten... he leaves crazy messages, takes her to court and then doesn't show up, etc., etc. she takes the road of requesting that he follow all written court agreements. if he doesn't show up, she leaves. if he wants to control the situation, she doesn't allow it. she had to have visitation stopped and started counseling for their daughter just because all the games were putting the child in the middle - using her as a pawn. take control of the situation and don't allow yourself to be bullied. spend time in court if that's what you need to do to make it work for your and your child.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:21 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Do you have a court order?
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 10:57 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I'd wish knew how to deal with mine. Mine also gives me problems about the times I am able to meet with him and one of my main aggravations with him is he knows i don't want my daughters hair cut and he gets it cut anyway I just act like stuff that he does don't bother me until he finally gives up and goes to something new i guess it will go on until she gets 18 she is only 2.
    jabranda

    Answer by jabranda at 11:20 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • no I dont argue with him at all anymore. actually if he calls I say"I am sorry but I cant speak to you" and hang up, because he consistently attacks me verbally. I have tried email only to be harassed by him and his gf that way too. so now I have asked for a 3rd party to be the go between...and the stupid idiot decides that 3rd party?
    is our 15 yr old. he's a class act. ty ladies...nice to know I am not alone but also sorry for your situations too.
    Bearsjen

    Comment by Bearsjen (original poster) at 12:23 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • My ex used my kids horribly when they were small. They're older now they know him more now. I let them be the go between b/c of age, 1 is almost 18. I let them have their relationship w/dad to control at 13. They will deal with him more as teens b/c they're more independent. When he was ranting about me, they tune him out or tell him to button it. He'll have to learn to deal w/dad his own way, it won't quit when he's 18 either. It gets to a point where it hurts us as moms but the kids grow up fast & take over on relationships the way they want to handle it, keeping us out. I didn't want to hand it over but they woke up 1day and told me to relax, they'd deal with him! Now they ask for advice on how to deal with him, I give it. Just like if he was any other person. He's out of my life basically. It was me that gave him to them, so they can have him!!
    Momchipomkids

    Answer by Momchipomkids at 1:35 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

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