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5 Bumps

Is this wrong of me?

Right now I live with my parents and they make it very clear they don't want me here. This is not my home. I plan on getting my own place by September at the latest. But my mom thinks it's going to be just like it was before I moved in. Before I would come see her at least once a week or meet her somewhere just so she could see the baby. But after feeling so unwelcome here I'm not doing that. If she wants to see us she can come see us. I will not come to her.

 
fairyinabubble

Asked by fairyinabubble at 11:26 PM on Jun. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,643 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • If you've been made to feel that unwelcome, I can't blame you in the least. If they absolutely didn't want you there, then they shouldn't have allowed you to move home. Once you were there, as long as you have plans to move out, it's pretty awful that they are making you feel so uncomfortable and unwelcome. They would have been better off having you sign something, maybe, saying that you were staying for X amount of months, and then putting it aside and just enjoying having you and your child there for the time being. If she's made you feel like she doesn't want you around, then once you are on your own, I agree: she will have to put the effort in to maintain the relationship.
    Cassidhes_Mom

    Answer by Cassidhes_Mom at 11:29 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I don't think that's wrong. If you're feeling totallt unwelcome and uncomfortable then by all means, don't make the effort.

    Like you said, if she wants to see you and the baby then she will make an effort to do so.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 11:30 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • Yes and no, they want you out of their house not out of their life.
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 11:27 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • your upset thats obvious. Sleep on it, and if you still feel the same way stick to your guns. JMO!
    Alwaysacarnie

    Answer by Alwaysacarnie at 11:30 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • And I don't plan on being out to there life. I'm just not going to make as easy for them as I did before.
    fairyinabubble

    Comment by fairyinabubble (original poster) at 11:29 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • it's time for you to do what you need to do for yourself and your child. you are being controlled too much by what your mother wants and expects and your reactions to all of it. i wouldn't bother prolonging the resentments by playing the game you are planning. what you can do is just move completely out of the box of letting your mother dictate your actions and your relationship by either going along or going against. there is an option that you decide what it convenient for you and what is best for you. cutting your mother out because she has expectations after she has been so supportive of you, regardless of the conflict, is very childish and not a good example for teaching your child how to have healthy relationships which should including healthy communication, healthy boundaries, and acting independently of others but in one's own best interests.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:30 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I think as long as she come to visit you should do the same. Just like with my in laws for the first few months of my daughters life while my husband was away working i would go stay weekends with them but i quit because they never called and they never came to visit her. Now i am getting divorced they dont bother to call to check on her or talk to her while her daddy is away working so i have nothing to do with them i would i they have something to do with her while he was away but she only sees them when he has her.
    jabranda

    Answer by jabranda at 11:36 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I don't think its wrong to require your mother to make an effort to see you and your child. You should not be the one always coming to her. I think you are completely right.

    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 11:39 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I would say to make this decision when it is time to leave the house for your own place. Give plenty of thought to it.

    I will say this...there comes a time in everyone's life where you stop doing so much to make everything easy for everyone else and instead start doing for yourself.

    Many years ago it was tradition to drive to my home town and spend the saturday B4 xmas with my mom's family. Xmas eve was for my dad's side and xmas day was for mom's side. we'd drive 8-12hrs (depending on where we lived) just to make sure we did this. I would get very upset with DH about this and then I realized I was throwing him under the bus just to placate my family.

    Anyways I kind of see you as throwing yourself under the bus by going out of your way all the time for your family. Also DH was worried about visiting his aunts but they would never come visit us so we stopped. We haven't heard anything from any of them in a year.
    SandraRh

    Answer by SandraRh at 11:45 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. It's not wrong.
    PrettiGirl

    Answer by PrettiGirl at 11:51 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

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