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At what age do you think is the right time to talk about sex with your kids?

we were at the lake and my daughter saw couples kissing. She turned around and she asked me if that was bad? and that if theyre parents were gonna put them on time out? now I did not know what to answer but..it got me thinking that time is flying shes asking me this now and later shell ask me about birth controls and condoms I just want to get ready to have a good answer. thanks

 
vania_jmz

Asked by vania_jmz at 12:15 AM on Jun. 27, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • We started early, giving them the proper names for their body parts and talking about appropriate touching. And then you give little pieces of information all along as they are growing up, when they ask questions, or you see teachable moments. I had the "long talk" with my daughter when she was 8, about her period and what was going to happen with her body - in a year or two (before sex ed in school in the 5th grade) I will go into detail about sex with her. She knows the basics about how a baby is made ("ewww . . . you and Steve [her stepdad] did THAT" - I'm pregnant) but I think before she goes into middle school she needs more information than the biological happenings.

    But to answer your question, it's not generally ONE conversation, but a series that happens over time.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:51 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • My kids are 4 and almost 3 and we have already started the "sex talk." I don't believe sex education should be saved for any certain age and believe it's important for any child who is going to be away from mom & dad (EVER). Plus, my DH and I don't hide our affection from the kids and aren't shy about the fact that we do have a sex life (although not in front of the kids obviously). We start as soon as they are old enough to know their body parts and understand that girls and boys are different and get the idea of "private" areas...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:26 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • There is no answer to that. It has to be after the "she's ready" moment, and before the "Oh, no, she's pregnant" moment.

    I started around the same time dd started noticing boys...with, when you have a boyfriend, you need to let me know, so we can talk about some stuff...
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:18 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • when they start asking questions. it's not a one time talk.

    i've already talked a little bit about puberty with my boys. they are 4 and 5.

    and DS2 asked me once how daddy was going to help me make a baby. I told him daddy will plant a special seed inside me that will grow into a baby. Which, i thought was accurate but also age appropriate.

    so far, that's that. but more questions will come. just do your best to answer them openly and honestly AND age appropriately (which is the hardest part IMO) ..
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:19 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • Not sure my DD is 5 she resently asked me where babies come from lol cought me by suprise I wasn't planning that one for a fe more years lol. I guess tell her whatever you are comfertable with, but at her level
    mommy5409

    Answer by mommy5409 at 12:19 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I think anytime a child asks a question , they deserve an asnwer. I always HATED asking questions and gettting "pat" answers. You didn't say how old your daughter is, but I am assuming she isn't old enough for the real talk yet..but at any rate give her something. You can tone it down by tellling her that kissing is a way to show affection ..like holding hands, but that you shouldn't just do it with anyone. Those kinds of affections need to be made in private..and/or commited relationships??? IDK. I think it all depends on what you feel comfortable with explaning to your daughter and what you social and /or religious views are. That said, WE all as parents want to thinkt hat our children wont do things before marriage and that is not always the case..but we also do not want our children to give away their feelings and parts of themselves that they can't get back. Sex is not the taboo that it was 50 or even 30 years ago.
    soccerjunki

    Answer by soccerjunki at 12:26 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • Umm, I don't think 3-4 years old is appropriate. Telling her about kissing isn't nearly as in depth as sex. I'm surprised she hasn't asked you before about kissing though, seeing as though you and your husband would have done it in front of her. We are always kissing our kids and each other, I don't see my daughter ever asking me if it was bad though.

    banana-bear

    Answer by banana-bear at 12:33 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I think it depends on the child and their maturity level as to whether they are ready for the talk or not. You can always start by talking about body parts and what appropriate to be touched and not touched. My daughter is 2 and she knows her body parts and I tell her no one but mommy can see your butt butt or your nii nii (her vagina). When she is pulling up her shirt or something, I say girls dont show their stomach or their chest. So she knows these things. As she gets older I tell more...
    lilmsnay83

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 12:25 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

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