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5 Bumps

My husband changes his mood as soon as my 18 yr. old daughter comes in.

He gets snotty with her and has mean comments. She spends a lot of her time with her boyfriend at his parent's house as a result of this behavior. She is no angel but I don't think she deserves the negative attention. He has decided he doesn't like her boyfriend of over two years.This is after he said yes that he could marry her. He told them that they have to have college first. How do I get him to see a psychiatrist because I believe he is bipolar. (extreme mood swings, Throws and breaks things)? I am ready to get a divorce because I can't take him anymore.I hate that he is pushing my daughter out of the house. Any idea what to do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Jun. 27, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (10)
  • Oh that's a tough situation, I went though something like that with my step dad when I was 17. I don't really have any advice for you on how to get him to see a psychiatrist, but maybe tell him how you feel and suggest you guys seeing a family therapist? good luck with this one mama!
    GavinsMommii

    Answer by GavinsMommii at 1:08 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • To be really honest the only way he will get help is if HE wants to. The best thing to do would be to sit him down and tell him how you are feeling and how your daughter is feeling. Maybe he is scared to lose his little girl and he is acting out because of it.
    Decker

    Answer by Decker at 1:12 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I guess I would just be honest and let him know how badly this is affecting your family. He might be more willing (at first) to go to marriage counseling rather than seeing a psychiatrist so I would start by suggesting that. I would ask him to go to marriage counseling with you and tell him what the consequences will be if he isn't willing, and then follow through.
    emilex

    Answer by emilex at 1:12 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • Hmmm?? I dont think your daughter should have to always be at her bf mothers house. Thats her house just as much as your husbands. I would tell my daughter she doesnt have to go anywhere!!! You all need to have a family meeting because its gonna get worse. Just saying "What if her and her boyfriend break up then what??? I dont know... Good luck!
    rosesrred1

    Answer by rosesrred1 at 1:12 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • How about leaving him>>>> Honestly YOUR child comes before any MAN,, and if he is rude, to you , to her to her boyfriend,,, and you feel trapped,, just get away!!!!! If he truly is bi polar and won't get help ,,, you have NO choice but to get help for yourself, and that means going away from him, until he straightens up or you decide YOU don't want to wait,,, Yes 18 is too young too get married, but she is an adult, and the more your HUSBAND interferes the farther you will drive your daughter away,, good luck and god bless you, but please get some peace for your self,, you are only on the earth once!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:21 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • you could try some family counseling - your daughter probably needs an objective ear as she is at a vulnerable stage in her life. she's old enough to go ahead and get married without permission, so if your husband truly wants them to respect his wishes he ought to try to be deserving of that respect rather than acting like a toddler and a tyrant. you need to tell him he is not allowed to treat your daughter that way, period. you will not tolerate abusive language or threatening behavior. tell him the possible consequences. your daughter sounds like she could use some help in learning how to have healthy relationships - yours may not be a good example as it sounds like there is a lack in healthy communication, and you can benefit from the support of family counseling as well.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:55 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I don't blame your daughter in not wanting to come home.  You need to talk to your husband about this behavior.  If he is violent he needs professional help and you need to remove yourself from that environment

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 2:41 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I'd say talk to him. Ask him why he acts so negative towards her. Maybe she could change her behavior to make dad a lil more pleasant to be around.
    coralbeth

    Answer by coralbeth at 2:35 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • they must be both on different pages with EMOTIONS running high.
    lawla

    Answer by lawla at 9:15 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Well if you think it is something more than him being upset then talk to him. I would. My daughters boyfriend spends a lot of time at our house because his house is not calm. I see it both ways. I would prefer my house to be a haven to my kids.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 11:32 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

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