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Would a gay man want to have sex with a woman?

I have a friend whose husband just "came out", but he says he's still attracted to her, still wants to have sex with her and wants to remain married and raise their young children (which she's considering)...does this make any sense? Even if he's newly gay, would he want to have sex with a woman? She's understandably confused.

They've both been checked for HIV and received negative results.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Jun. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Well he is probably bisexual.
    Shaylyn318

    Answer by Shaylyn318 at 1:38 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I'd say in that case he was more bi than gay, but that's just me. When my dad came out to my mom--after 25 years of marriage--it was clear that he was no longer interested in sexual relations with her. They tried staying together for a while but it was too painful for her. Once they separated though, they were able to get their friendship back.

    I'd recommend counseling for your friend at the least. My parents always had some issues sexually, and daddy was so worried about keeping his secret that he blamed a lot of it on her, and mom ended up with a LOT of self-esteem issues. That was the hardest part for me--my dad did a lot of damage to my mom without meaning to. I supported him, because I love him and wanted him to feel free to be himself, but I couldn't excuse the hurt and pain my mom went through either.
    Cassidhes_Mom

    Answer by Cassidhes_Mom at 1:39 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • sounds like he may have cheated on her if they have been married...how do u know ur gay unless u have tried it?
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 1:40 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • All of the gay men I know are repulsed by the thought of having sex with a woman. My guess is that her husband is bi and is obviously cheating on her with men if they both needed STD testing done. I don't think that is the type of "Happily Ever After" she imagined as a young girl, it's time for her to move on.

    -xoxo-

    Answer by -xoxo- at 1:58 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I would think he is Bi rather than gay. My dad was gay. He tried being the married father but it didn't work. He wasn't hetero. He wasn't bi. He was gay. I used to say my mom drove him to being gay! lol It's all good. btw, he was a great dad.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:11 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • He's bi.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 2:26 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • he does not have to try it to be considered gay
    are all virgin women that want to wait until marriage not hetero until they have sex?

    he sounds bi
    or gay and ready to come out to wife but not ready to come out fully to himself or the world

    i would not want to have sex with a man that said he was gay, because i would think that i was just a subsitute until he was "MAN" enough to be true to who he is
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:34 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • He's most likely Bi-sexual.. not gay..

    A man (or woman) who is truly gay.. No guestions asked, never questioned their own sexuality, knew that they were gay..Has no interest, no desire, no inclination and is NOT turned on by the opposite sex in any way... I have never met a truly gay man that was even capable of having sex with a woman, much less wanted to.. Equipment just didn't work, couldn't get hard because they weren't sexually stimulated or attracted to/by a woman in period. The thought of having sex with a woman, is actually repulsive to a truly gay man. Believe me, I've heard quite a fews opinions in regards to women and their "nasty" body parts...lol

    Also, no one who is truly gay or bi sexual suddenly decides to be that way.. It's not new.. They usually have had questions, feelings, ect.. For a very long time. They just have not been comfortable enough to admit to themselves. Much less anyone else.

    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:35 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • Men will have sex with anything, but now they call that bi.
    Tes...Jacksmami

    Answer by Tes...Jacksmami at 4:00 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • As a response to pixie_trix's comment: My dad considers himself gay. Not bi, not at all, even though he was married to my mom for 25 years. He had a friend of his murdered fairly horribly in college, from what I've been told, and it scared him so deep in the closet it took 25 years for him to find the door, so to speak.

    Yes, he slept with my mom, and even produced 3 daughters, but he was never happy, never satisfied, and they had a lot of issues in the bedroom, which ended up leaving my mom feeling like she wasn't pretty enough, wasn't good enough, was too demanding, etc. I think that someone can be truly gay and "fake it", but I don't think they can really be present or real if they do so. My relationship with my dad, my sisters' relationship with him, and I think even my mom's relationship with him became something totally different once he came out. We're much closer now, actually, and he is my DAD, not just my father.
    Cassidhes_Mom

    Answer by Cassidhes_Mom at 6:22 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

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