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3 Bumps

How Should I Approach This??

We are a military family. My husband , 15 month old and I live in a 2 bedroom 2 bath house. Since we moved here, my husband's friend who just turned 19 (We are 26) that went through training with my husband has been staying with us on the weekends to get out of the barracks for a couple days. I had no problem with it as long as it was just the weekends. Well, now he's driving me nuts. He makes a mess, eats our food and doesn't buy his own. I cook dinner and he leaves his plate on the table...when we go somewhere, I end up sitting in the back seat with our son, he leaves the TV on all night...I'm just frustrated! How can I explain to him or my husband that he needs to be more responsible when he's here. I'm not his mom and he needs to respect our home and I'm not rich so he needs to pay for his own snacks and drinks. What would you do???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Jun. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Read that, word for word, off the screen to him.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 2:35 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • " I'm not his mom ......"

    sounds like you have adopted a 19 year old son who has not learned to be a man, or a respectful guest
    and
    your husband is acting like a disrepectful husband
    you should talk to your husband

    gl
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:37 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • Say exactly what you said here, to your husband. Your husband should be the one to talk to him about in my opinion as he is his friend and he is the one that okay'd him to stay there.
    Approach your husband with something like "I've tried to not let this bother me and I don't really know how to approach the situation at hand and I would like your help" and then of course carry on to your troubles.....Hopefully he'll understand.....
    Good luck, I swore off any type of room mate years ago for this very reason.....some people are very rude and dont' seem to care about how they effect other people....
    MamaCharity

    Answer by MamaCharity at 2:37 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I would talk to my husband about it first, then maybe he could tell his friend that you guys are needing more alone time, or family time so maybe he could just stay one day every couple of weeks.
    momof525

    Answer by momof525 at 2:38 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I would talk to my husband first. Try to use "it makes me feel ... when..." I found that really helps to keep the DH from shutting out my concerns when I use that. Try to get him to see how it makes you feel. I had a DH roommate live with us years ago, had the same sorta probs. I was a lot more timid and didn't say anything for a long time (until we moved again!) he simply didn't move with us! Good luck!
    SandraLee242

    Answer by SandraLee242 at 2:39 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I would tell your husband exactly what you posted here. I'd go through your husband simply because the guy is his friend so I would think it's his responsibility to talk with him.
    cjsjellybean

    Answer by cjsjellybean at 2:39 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I would be behind the friend saying "please pick up your plate" and just follow him around please do this please do that we don't do this we don't do that , drive him nuts enough to not want to come around...and in the meantime explain to your husband that there needs to be some consideration torwards you, the woman who does the upkeep on the house. You clean because you have to not because you want to.
    He is a guest so you can't ask him to bring his own food without sounding like a b*tch, but you can ask him to clean up after himself.
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 2:42 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • talk to your husband and let him know how you feel he should handle the situation he allowed the guest into your home
    baby1mom

    Answer by baby1mom at 2:47 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • What u need to do is stop cleaning up for him and ur husband. Clean up for ur self and your son. Let him and his little friend see that you are no ones servant or maid. You pretend as if its just u and your. Son whom ur looking after cus in reality that's all u shld care for .
    elliebaby

    Answer by elliebaby at 2:54 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • Talk to your hubby first. You need to make decisions like house guests issues ... together, as a team.
    It sounds like this boy has no repsect for you or your home.
    Talk to your husband first and tell him just what you put here. He sounds like another child for you to take care of.
    unsuspected

    Answer by unsuspected at 5:21 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

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