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2 Bumps

about porn ...why do they even need a wife?

If your man fantasizes about other women and say that they do it when you are having sex.. how can they ever really emotionally connect with you? why would they even need you if they have porn?
a lot of people say looking at porn is a quick fix, men don't have to do any work.. sounds like sex with a wife is to much effort.. so why have one.. it wasn't effort when i was the girlfriend, i don't get it.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Jun. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • So, just because my husband watches porn every once in a while, he can't emotionally connect with me? That's insane logic. Why would he need me?! I supply a LOT more than sex to him, thank you. Not to mention, I have sex with him OFTEN. Sex with me is not too much effort, but sometimes, like when I'm on my period, I don't want to do anything sexual. My husband maybe looks at porn twice a month, and is open about it, and even then it's not always to get off. You don't know my husband, and you most certainly don't know anything about our marriage.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 3:42 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • My husband has never (in 24 years) told me that he has or does fantasize about other women while we are having sex. I can't think of a man in his right mind that would be boneheaded enough to say that to their wife to be honest with you .. lol

    Sometimes (at least this is what some men have shared with me..and even women in regards to their husband) when something like "It's too much work" is mentioned. It's usually because they are not getting the sexual responses they are looking for from their partners. Or their partners are just so sexually uninterested (like women who just lay there, or men who just hop on and hop off) that it actually it a lot of work to try and get them in the mood. And really when someone isn't interested, really isn't interested, getting them in the mood (real mood not faking it) is damn near impossible.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:43 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I also wanted to share this..

    In regards to the "emotionally" connecting part.

    Most women need an emotional connection to have a sexual connection.. The emotional connection reinforces their sexual connection.

    Most men on the other hand.. Need a sexual connection to have an emotional one. The sexual conncetion reinforces their emotional connection.

    Just one of those quirks in the sexes that makes misunderstandings and miscommunications about sex happen all too easily.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:45 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I would have to completely agree with the first response. I know my husband looks at porn, do I care? NO! Does it mean he isnt emotioanlly connected with me? Definitely not. Sometimes it doesnt matter how often or how amazing the sex is, a man just simply enjoys pleasuring himself sometimes, it takes them back to the old days. And trust me if your man says he never does it, hes lying. You could have sex 3 times a day every day, but everyonce and a while he will have that urge to just do it himself.
    Porn honestly isnt a horrible thing unless a man becomes obsessed with it which some can. but for them to have some private time isnt really a big deal. they arent trying to replace you at all. I doubt you can say you never ever fantasize about someone other than your SO. Everyone does it. its doesnt mean you dont want to be with them. your human!!
    Amanduhpanda

    Answer by Amanduhpanda at 3:47 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • CRAP... I hit enter too soon.. Please forgive me for answering yet again.

    Back to the emotional/sexual connection..

    One does not really negate the other.. But oddly.. Both work together and reinforce one another creating stronger bonds in a couple..

    When women orgasm. Hormones/Chemicals are released that actually make them want their partners more. Makes them more drawn to their partners, makes them almost more 'loving" (for lack of a better term).. That's why some women will totally get hooked on a man, sometimes a man that just isn't good for them, and can't let go. You see it often, women who will say things like "The sex is what keeps me around" "I'd leave if the sex wasn't so good" Or ""I was done with him, but after last night.. I got have him"...lol

    Many men feel more loving, helpful, playful, ect.. when they have sex on a regular basis because they are getting the reinforcement they need.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:49 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • Porn honestly isnt a horrible thing unless a man becomes obsessed with it which some can. but for them to have some private time isnt really a big deal. they arent trying to replace you at all. I doubt you can say you never ever fantasize about someone other than your SO. Everyone does it. its doesnt mean you dont want to be with them. your human!!"

    Thank you! I agree with everything you said as well. And I would be willing to bet that almost every woman who thinks that their husband doesn't EVER do it...is wrong, lol. The difference is, my husband doesn't hide it. :)
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 3:50 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • A man who is interested in pornography at any level cannot be totally committed to his wife. In the vows, the pledge is to forsake ALL others and to hold ONLY to his wife. There is no way he can honor those vows while he is fantasizing about some other woman, whether he has ever met her or not. He is lusting after another woman, and that dishonors his wife. As to why he wants a wife, the answer to that question would likely vary from one man to another.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:00 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • Ditto NannyB.'s response, the vows say ALL others, even the one one's on the magic picture box. lol.
    Tes...Jacksmami

    Answer by Tes...Jacksmami at 4:12 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • they need a wife so their house doesn't look like a pig pen....
    joycegina

    Answer by joycegina at 4:17 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • along the same lines as joyce
    they need someone to feed them and bear and raise their children too!
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 4:36 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

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