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How can you help a teenager who is out of control?

My nephew is out of control, he is 17 , he was a really good kid. His parents got divorced because his dad was a addict, he sold everything he could get his hands on, including the dog pin. My nephew witness everything, he swore he would never do drugs. Since he got his license he has wrecked his mom's car lied to her about where he's at, he's been drinking, smoking pot and sailing drugs. His mom doesn't no what to do with him or how to get him help, his dad is no help, he still does drugs, she thinks it's 2 late, what can she do? please help. I was just told he totaled her car last night, he's fine, he felled a sleep and cross a double yellow line. Please help us figure something out.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on Jun. 27, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (8)
  • That is terribly sad. Honestly, there is not much you can do other than try to talk to him and offer support. It sounds like he is very lost right now and I really hope that he wakes up before he ends up hurt or dead.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 4:13 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • Try talking to him but dont him dont this or dont do that it will just make him want to do it even more.
    K3lly94

    Answer by K3lly94 at 4:17 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • He needs a wake up call. Have your sister call the police on him and see if there's a way that they can give him a wake up talk. Is there a male that he respects and trust that can have a man to man talk with him. He really needs to have a man that he can open up to. I wish you and your sister GL It's never to late to save him. He just has to be ready to change the things and the people he is doing and around to make the good changes in life before he ends up like his father.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 4:20 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • Yeah, def DON'T get the cops involved; he'll just hate your sister for it. The logic of teenagers vs. that of adults (especially when the adult parent hasn't been 17 in a good 20-30 years and doesn't remember what it's like) is staggering.
    No 17-year-old takes anything the cops say seriously. Not for reasons of divorce (rather, my own demons), but I was right where he is when I was that age (10 years ago), and 99% of us just grow up and get over it after a while. Don't lose hope; he's most likely in "I don't give a f*ck about anything "mode, for now. It WILL pass.
    Kassey713

    Answer by Kassey713 at 3:17 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Sorry to hear this is happening...unfortunately, this sometimes happens after a divorce and expecially when one of those parents has a drug addiction. Until this child gets it out of his system, he will continue to live recklessly. Intervention is the key to it all before its too late...wish you guys much success!
    treasured_hope

    Answer by treasured_hope at 5:49 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • He is angry.and it is deep rooted in him.As well he should be.If you encouraged him to talk to a couselor, he could get his anger out in a positive way?
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 11:50 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • your sister sounds like she is the one who needs help to understand what to do... she never quite got the hang of dealing with an addict. counseling for her and for your nephew now. tell her not to give up on him - it's not too late. part of what is happening is unfortunately very typical for teenagers, but he needs a strong parent to lay down rules and not let him get away with this stuff - THAT is what will be his downfall. she needs to make sure she continues to be a parent. there are rules that need to be followed and she needs to not be passive about this.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:29 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I also have a very similar situation with my own son who is an adult. Though no product of divorce, he is doing the same things-drugs, selling drugs, out of control, staying out all night. Husband and I at wits end with this kid. I'm afraid he will end up in jail or dead. I don't think he will go to counseling.. but something has to happen very soon.
    petunia7

    Answer by petunia7 at 2:46 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

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