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An issue concerning my Grandpa's flag............

My grandpa passed away in February and my Step-Grandma (his wife) said that my Grandpa wanted me to have his flag (he was a war vet). No one in my family knows but I told my Aunt (who I've come close with since his passing). She is mad that I got the flag because it should have gone to one of my Grandpa's children. She is not mad at me but I feel uncomfortable because I wonder if I should give her the flag (not that she's asked) or keep it. I wanna keep it of course, it was given to me...........what would you do?

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worriedmommy600

Asked by worriedmommy600 at 4:18 PM on Jun. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,335 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • If your Grandpa wanted you to have it that waas his choice. Keep it and cherish it always.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:19 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I'd keep it. If he wanted you to have it there's no reason for you not to. If he wanted one of his kids to have it, he would have given it to them.
    Keep it. They may be upset, but they'll understand.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 4:19 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • It was supposed to go to his wife. But, if his next of kin (wife) says that he wanted you to have it then its yours. His children wouldn't have gotten it anyways. Keep it. My grandfather has five flags for his five children, my grandmother already has one.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 4:23 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • If he wanted you to have it, you should have it.

    If it makes you feel uncomfortable and causes a big family rift AND you are willing to, then you could give it to one of his children. But Honestly, that is ONLY if you are ok with it. I think I would keep it, that is a huge deal.
    WillDoDa

    Answer by WillDoDa at 4:26 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • The thing is...I'm worried I will feel forced into giving it to them with all of the fighting that will happen when anyone finds out. I don't want to give them but I feel like I should...I don't know what the right thing to do is. I want to keep it and plan to...I'm just worried because when my Dad, Aunt, and Grandma (his first wife) find out I have the flag....it's gonna be world war 3!! I have stayed away from the family because of how much drama there is. My Grandpa's death has caused a lot of grief and its ridiculous!!
    worriedmommy600

    Comment by worriedmommy600 (original poster) at 4:29 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • and by grief I mean not only in his death but mainly by the way the family is behaving.
    worriedmommy600

    Comment by worriedmommy600 (original poster) at 4:31 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I would keep it. How would you choose who else to give it to? The person who makes the biggest fuss? Seriously, if he wanted you to have it (did you know that before), you should have it. Unfortunately, there is only one...that's how it is.

    When my dad dies (he's 82), he will have a flag, given to my mom, and I fully expect to get it after her. My ex hubby's grandfather had a Purple Heart, and I want my son to get it, but my ex-mil says no, because we are divorced. My ds is the ONLY grandchild. Oh well, can't fight with her!
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 5:00 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I'd keep it! it was given to you and promised to you.
    kuriequinn

    Answer by kuriequinn at 5:13 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • Listen, when someone dies, it's not the passing that's the worst part. It's the way everyone focuses their grief on the division of goods.

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    Simply say, "this was my grandfather's wish. I'm not going to dishonor his memory by arguing this point again and again."
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 6:28 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

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