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How do you handle your pregnancy and what do you say when you are around people you know have been trying for years or would really like another child but just can't?

What? Do I just not bring it up or talk about it? I do not want to appear insensitive or rude.


Asked by michelle146 at 6:00 PM on Jun. 27, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 7 (167 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Don't avoid them. I had a miscarriage at the same time a friend got pregnant. She didn't call me for most of her pregnancy, and didn't pick up or return calls when I called her. Towards the end, I ran into her somewhere and asked her about it and she said she felt bad. She felt bad she was pregnant when I had lost my baby and didn't know what to say so she avoided me.
    I was happy for her, but also a little jealous that she stayed pregnant.
    We aren't as close as we were before that.
    Just ask how they are doing. Don't avoid the subject of your pregnancy but don't shove it in her face either. Find the happy middle ground.
    And congrats on the soon to be baby!

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 6:17 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • If they or someone around you asks you about it then answer them. Just don't bring it up or talk non stop about it in their presence if no one else has initiated the topic.


    Answer by shanlaree at 6:03 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I would let them lead you.
    If they bring up your pregnancy, & ask how you are feeling, then answer them.
    If they don't bring it up, then just let it go.
    I was able to get pregnant easily and have several friends who couldn't. If they asked how I was, or what was going on with my pregnancy, I just told them. I admit, it was uncomfortable at times, but if you are close friends with them, then you could always say,"I understand you are having some difficulty getting pregnant, and I don't want to appear insensitive if I talk about my pregnancy. How do you feel about that?'

    Answer by ARmom at 6:05 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • just talk like you would talk with them even if you weren't pregnant. don't bring it up unless they do.

    Answer by armywife43 at 6:07 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I have a friend that's been try for more then a year now and I'm pregnant with my second already, I don't rub it in her face or constantly talk about it but she doesn't seem to mind talking about it , shes actually always bringing it up and she actually wants to help me decorate my dd nursery. But shes also a pretty positive girl with a good spirit to being with

    Answer by jessran1218 at 6:11 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • If it was just an acquaintance, I wouldn't talk about the pregnancy unless they asked first.

    My best friend has PCOS and has been trying to 2 years to conceive with no luck. With her, if I DON'T talk about the pregnancy she gets I talk to her about it...but again, she's my best friend. I have another friend who has PCOS and is in the same boat as my BFF, but since we're not as close, I don't talk to her about it unless she asks.

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 6:11 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I think,firstly,You should never assume that someone can't get pg. You would be suprised how many ppl reach pg and have babys after years of infertility. I knew someone who was pregnant when I found out that my dh had infertility,she was sooo disraught and apologetic that I ended up staying away from HER because I was afraid I was stressing her in late pregnancy. Everytime I saw her she would bust out in tears telling me she was so sorry. I had told her that it did not mean I would never have a baby~but it did not seem to help her get it.
    If your friends are truely your friends they'll be happy for you and be supportive. I have gone on since I found out that my dh had the problem to give birth to a girl and a boy ~believe me,we have a full life! Don't just assume that ppl will never be parents just because they have IF,there is even adoption.

    Answer by momthruivf at 6:17 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • i worked out with a group of girls, and three were trying to get pregnant. when i got pregnant i wasn't going to say anything. i wasn't trying to get pregnant. i had to tell them because my lunges were getting really bad. they were all happy for me, and since two of them have gotten pregnant : )

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 6:33 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I had this happen actually. My sister miscarried last august with her first child and was very upset. I already had 4 children and was done as my husband had a vasectomy last july. Well October rolled around and I found out I was pregnant somehow. So, I was just so heartbroken on telling her but didn't want to keep it from her either. Well I told her and she was excited for us. I found out 4 weeks later she was pregnant again. Well I just had my son on Monday and she is due in 3 weeks. She didn't say anything at the time because she was afraid that she may miscarry again. Sometimes it is best to just let them bring it up to you and try not to flaunt it without trying.

    Answer by carmadsmom at 7:05 PM on Jun. 27, 2010