Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

SHOULD ADULT CHILDREN HELP SUPPORT THEIR PARENT(S)? EVEN IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD TOO?

Answer Question
 
VIRGA_KEMP

Asked by VIRGA_KEMP at 7:42 PM on Jun. 27, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 6 (118 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • what do you mean? like just the kid pay for everthing? or if theyre living with the parent then help pay??
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 7:43 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • Not if you can't afford to. That is exactly why I am saving money now.
    LittleWeloosMom

    Answer by LittleWeloosMom at 7:44 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • If the parents are destitute through no fault of their own, then yes the children should. If the parents lived the high life and couldn't be bothered to save, then the answer isn't as clear. Certainly the children shouldn't let the parents be out on the streets. I suppose in this case the children could help the parents find whatever assistance is available.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:46 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • not unless they are uncabable of doing it themselves then i think the adult chidl should intervene
    liltinymommy

    Answer by liltinymommy at 7:47 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I think that the adult child should do the best they can to help their parents out, because their parents helped them out for years and years and still arent done helping their children out no matter how old they are, so when it comes down to it, it's like payback for all the years their parents helped them out.
    SNKMillers

    Answer by SNKMillers at 7:49 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I don't think you are obligated. However, it seems only right. If your parents are "mooches" who decided a long time ago that it was your sole purpose in life to support them, then you have to use discernment. No, you are not their guardians!! (My DH's parents are that way. They can't WAIT for us to buy a house so they can move in and mooch off of us!). However, if they need the help, and you have the resources, yes. I think you should. They've done a lot for you.

    Try to brainstorm different ways besides cash. If they need money to get their car repaired, maybe just offer them one of your cars until they get theirs fixed. Or offer to drive them around. It doesn't always mean writing a big fat check every time they need it. Try looking at what resources you HAVE and help them in a way that isn't so open ended. If you can't trust that they'll spend the way they should, then pay the bill directly, that kinda thing.
    livn4hevn

    Answer by livn4hevn at 9:02 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • if your parents supported you all through your childhood in a normal way, and through no fault of their own can't support themselves now, I would think that yes, you have a moral obligation to try to help them. If they are just leeches and want you to do everything but are capable of supporting themselves that's a different story
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 10:41 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • My 22 yr. old daughter has a job. She pays her car payment of $309 a month. She doesn't pay car insurance which is actually more than the car payment and she doesn't pay for her cellphone either. I believe that if the parents have limited income that the child should help out the parents some. I didn't say all. The insurance is high because of her insurance points. She did this on her own, and it was her fault for getting the speeding tickets, not mine. Therefore, yes, depending on the situation.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 11:20 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • amessageofhope sorry I don't see that as helping out but rather she should be taking responsibility for her personal costs i.e. she needs car ins. for her to drive that is her responsibility to pay for herself.If parents can afford to and want to sure they can help the kid out but that would be parents helping out the kid.We were able to and chose to pay our kids insurance till out of college and employed but made it clear we payed the base if they drove it up due to tickets the up-charge was theirs to pay.

    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 2:09 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • If the parent is ill or has had some sort of terrible thing happen then yes, I do. we moved from TX back to OH in 1999 because my father was disabled and unable to work. We bought his groceries, paid his utility bills, bought his medicine (he was a diabetic) and in general took care of him and his wife. I did and do believe that it was my obligation. My father cared for me well growing up and it was only right for us to help him when he needed it. He died a year after we moved back. It was hard, we were a single income family and I homeschooled our 4 children so I couldn't go to work to earn extra money to help out with the moeny we spent towards my dad and his wife We did without some things to give that extra help to my dad. It was worth it to me and to my husband and to our sons. If we needed help from our sons I know they would give it, no matter what.
    tracylynnr67

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 2:06 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN