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2 Bumps

am I the only woman that feels this way

am i the only woman that doesn't fantasize about other men. I know i have been naive, but until recently i never knew my husband masturbated to porn.. I thought it was just like watching a tv show or a horror movie, just something different. I was surprised to learn about how many men do and how many people fantasize about being with other people. a lot of people say that porn is equivalent to romance novel and such so that we can relate.
I do not read romance novels, i do not fantasize about other men, if i see one that is attractive i do not think " how would it be to have sex with him".
I have read articles about porn and men and although i can understand the reasons. i cannot understand why it cannot just be one man and one woman who only need each other.. all i need is my husband, am i the only one in the world that feels that way. and yes it is hard to know that i am not all that he wants and needs.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:46 PM on Jun. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • You are not alone. I don't think about other men. I'm happy with the man I have, and I don't have to fantasize in any way. So I don't read romance novels either.

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 7:50 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • porn is just a tool he uses to rub his winky
    doesn't mean he's cheating or loves you less

    men aren't the only ones who fantasize just fyi

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 7:51 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I don't think about other men. When I fantasize, it's always like I'm watching other people do things- I'm never the one doing it. I think it's because I read and write erotica that I visualize it that way instead of just looking at pictures and then putting myself in the woman's place or something like that.


    Answer by IhartU at 7:51 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • my DF watches porn all the time on the used to bother me at first but then i just realized he is a guy doing guy things. its not like he will ever actually be with any of them.

    Answer by bcw4786 at 7:51 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I love the man I have, but I can definitely separate that love from fantasy. Fantasy is for fun and for play and not necessarily real. Just because someone fantasizes about someone/something else, does NOT mean that they find their partner lacking in any way--I know that my husband masturbates to porn, but in the end, I'm the one he loves and wants to be with. I read romances too, and write erotic short stories--again, it's not something lacking in the relationship, it's honestly feeling like I have the freedom to let my imagination run. There have been times when I have read something that sounded fun and brought it up to my husband and we have played with the idea/scenario/whatever in the bedroom later. It's just another facet of a rich, fulfilling sexual relationship.

    I'm not saying that it's unnatural to NOT fantasize either, don't get me wrong--but 9 times out of 10, the fantasizing has nothing to do with dissatisfaction

    Answer by Cassidhes_Mom at 7:55 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I think about other men. Do I WANT any other man, hell to the no. I just like to wonder. Its the same reason why I look at other people: to wonder what it would be like to be them, to be with them, to be related to them, to look at life from someone else's eyes or situation. There's nothing wrong with wondering about the rest of the world or its people.

    Answer by Deathlilly at 8:04 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I fantasize, but even if another man sneaks in there it isn't anyone I know, it's just a generic made up guy. The way hubby explained porn to me was it isn't about WHO is in there, but WHAT they are doing. It has nothing to do with the person, it's just watching the act. And since there are things in porn that I won't do, I'm ok with him watching.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 8:24 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • no your not the only women who is like that and not all men look at porn. especially not if it hurts there wife. if hes making you feel like shit, you need to put your foot down. life is too short to not be respected and happy.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 8:33 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • have you tried little role playing with your hubby, it might keep him from masturbating to porn

    Answer by ymadaris2 at 4:00 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • i dont fantasize about other men either, my dh is all i want

    Answer by 3xangel at 12:14 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

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