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How do you deal with a husband who is a snarling beast?

Let me start by saying that I have no intention of splitting up the family, unless the relationship were to become abusive or if he crossed a line that is harmful to the kids (smoking p*t in front of them or something like that). I do believe that his smoking habit is a big part of the problem. He is a big jerk when he is out or doesn't have the opportunity to do it. He knows I wish he would quit, but all I ask is that he is discreet and doesn't let the kids smell it or see him like that.

The thought of spending the rest of my life with this man makes me very unhappy, but I did make vows for better or worse. I keep praying that it will get better, but it is hard to keep having hope that it will.

Anyone else in a similar situation?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Jun. 28, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • I live it every day. My dh has to be high 24/7 or he will begin to have withdrawal symptoms and get super moody. He has spent money that we don't have on pot, has dropped baggies in random public places and had to pick them up, he is most assuredly an addict. If he and his friends run out he will start calling around like a crack head, begging strangers for a free bowl. Yes smoking is an issue and yes I feel your pain. I wish he would put the pipe down and just quit, putting his family 1st for once. Pot heads don't get it though hun. They feel like pot is just the greatest thing in the world and that they can still be good husbands/fathers/etc while stoned. Well, when it starts affecting your marriage, it's NOT okay. I'll keep you in my prayers, only he can stop and if he won't, it's gonna hurt you bad inside. I do every day.


    Answer by -xoxo- at 8:11 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • yeah, I know what you mean...but it isn't drugs. My husband is a very negative person and I never realized how negative he actually is before we got married. There's no looking on the bright side of things. He doesn't try to make the best out of a horrible situation...
    The glass is ALWAYS HALF EMPTY!

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 12:40 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • How do you deal with a husband who is a snarling beast?

    I would let my inner bitch off the leash and let him deal with a snarling beastess!

    Answer by beeky at 7:13 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I couldn't imagine living with anyone who made me so miserable, and I can tell you that your kids pick up on those signals and they know that you are unhappy. If you don't want to split up with him there isn't much more advice that I can give except that you try to get him to quit his addiction so he can be a happier healthier person.

    Answer by GigantaursMommy at 12:43 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • What do you do with a husband who's a snarling beast...

    well, it involves private parts, varying degrees of nakedness..

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:46 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I have my ups and downs with my husband. We areguemore then often unfortunatley. He is never really happy, a little self centerd and always about him! But he can also be the most charming helpful man ever too! I appreciate all that he does. I do hate my husbands smoking habits, and bad language that he uses. However lol ( I used to tell my husband to stop being verbally abusive it's rude! ) Then he finally told me, I say mean words when upset. But not at you when I'm not. Totally a big difference. Because don't most people say upset mean words when angry yes! Why? Because we don't mean what we say when we are frustrated. I Laughed and told my husband well babe you must be upset at the world on a regular basis then like everyday! He stopped to think, laughed and said well,yeah many people tick me off.So the best thing to do is pray for your husbands, their addictions,behaviors. Anything they need help on! No one is prefect.

    Answer by Hesmynavyman at 3:44 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • By the way we all have flaws

    Answer by Hesmynavyman at 3:45 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Don't leave your husband because of smoking though,it would be brutal just stand by his side, and let him know your feelings, just be laid back about it. As much as it bothers you that he smokes and does other stuff to upset you.Let it by past you. He knows how you feel so maybe if you stop telling him he may wonder hey she hasn't said anything for weeks, maybe it is time I quit.It's a wake up call. Just try it out. Good luck.:)

    Answer by Hesmynavyman at 3:47 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • do you or did you ever love your hubby? is his smoking the real issue or is it something else?

    Answer by ymadaris2 at 6:48 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • most people stay in unhappy marriages. i feel sorry for all of u that do. i think u should work it out w your husband.

    Answer by mrsary at 8:36 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

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