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help me talk to my sister

my sister has pcos and recently started seeing a fertility doctor. She's only has one appt. They haven't even started testing yet. But I was talking to her about getting rid of dd's bassinet and some other stuff and she told me to keep everything for her.... I know she's excited and she's been trying soo hard to have a baby for awhile now. But I don't think it's a good idea for her to start gathering things. How can I tell her I don't think it's a good idea without hurting her feelings? It's just such a tricky process and you never know....

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:12 AM on Jun. 28, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (7)
  • i think it would be really ugly of you to tell her that..i would just hold them for her unless you don't have the storage space..if not then tell her if she wants it then she needs to come and get it because you don't have room

    Answer by shay1130 at 1:15 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • you shouldn't tell her at all. She has every right to want to get ready. You might think it is a bit pre-emptive but this is important to her. If you say anything to her then you are just the wet blanket. PCOS doesn't mean you can't have children it just means it is harder to do so. Let her have her dreams. Don't be that person that drags her the person that tells her that she's routing for her. You should keep it for her. If you don't have room then go ahead and give it to her. Unless you have other motives like you want to sell it then I wouldn't just get rid of it. IF your sister is going to a fertility doctor they will be spending a lot of money and you can help them out by giving to them in a way that would be easy for you...handing down baby stuff. That is what family is for. Don't drag your sister down.

    Answer by SandraRh at 1:18 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • op here. I don't want to drag her down in any way. I am supporting her 100% in trying to get pregnant. I just think it would be better if she waited to start gathering stuff up. They haven't done anything yet and she's already planning a nursery. I'd just hate for her to get too far ahead of herself and then it not happen. She would be so crushed. Maybe I am just thinking wrong I don't know.

    Answer by jedwards2009 at 1:24 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I think it would be VERY rude to tell her that.

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 1:24 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • she'll be crushed either way. Support her NOW not later. I know you say you support her but that isn't really showing your support. If you tell her this then you will BE that person that is hurting her more than just not being able to get pregnant. Everyone has hopes and dreams and you should have someone on your side telling you that there is always hope. Not someone being that death and doom person that thinks you should just pretend it won't happen so it magically won't hurt when it doesn't.

    She may or may not get pregnant. And if she doesn't it will hurt. But it will hurt even more to have her sister telling her that it probably won't happen. Personally, I get pissed off when people try and tell me what I should and should not hope for. And I can tell you right now there is absolutely nothing good that will come of you telling her she shouldn't get things for her future baby.

    Answer by SandraRh at 1:35 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I wouldnt tell her it is a tricky process, but what I would say is that you support her 110% and that you know it will be a difficut road. Then you will want to make her feel super special because it will be her first child. I would simply say to her that when she does get pregnant it will be so much fun to go shop and pick out all new items for the baby. Hand me downs are great but getting new items makes the mom feel special and she will need to register for things for her friends and family to get her for her shower. You can also tell her what I was told when I was ttc, it is bad luck to collect baby items before the 1st trimester is over. I had 2 miscarriages and it took me 3 years to finally have a baby and I was very supersticious so I wouldnt allow any baby items in my home or allow anyone to give or buy me baby stuff until I knew everything was ok. But most important make sure you tell her how much you support her.

    Answer by melliesmom1207 at 10:37 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Don't tell her. Just keep the stuff in storage. If you need to rent space, talk to her abut sharing the cost.

    Of course you will need to check EVERYTHING to make sure nothing has been recalled.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:31 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

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