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4 Bumps

Should I turn my back to my aunt and cut off all ties?

She is an alcoholic, and a prescription pill abuser
Someone in the family thought she was doing cocaine which she wasnt, but she was hanging out with someone who did, so It wasn't a far fetched thought and she called me with a fat attitude about it, as if I started this rumor...which I didn't

She is supposed to check into a rehab for the alcohol and excessive pill taking but she said she isn't now because of the rumor...I know it makes no sense.

I'm at the point where I'm done. My mom is offering to help her if she goes, but that's only if she goes, all of the family in town has agreed to cut ties if she doesn't go.

She already lost custody of her son, my grandpa has him, and If she tries to get custody she will ultimately lose because of her history with mental issues and being admitted, this rehab was the only way my gpa would agree to visits.

She knows Im fed up especially with the last episode.
ADVICE PLEASE?????

 
DomoniqueWS

Asked by DomoniqueWS at 5:26 AM on Jun. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 25 (23,109 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I had to make the difficult decision of letting someone go. I simply could not let this person be around my children, influencing them in any way. Some people just cannot make it through life in a healthy way. I can be supportive up to a point. But it is not my job to give up my own life, or the lives of my loved ones, to keep them company.
    janel123

    Answer by janel123 at 10:23 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I would cut ties if she didn't go. There is no reason to continue having a relationship with someone such as that unless she seeks help/support from you.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 5:29 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I don't have close bonds with my family, no closer than my best friends. I personally would choose to cut my ties. The best decision for you is what feels right. Evaluate the positives and negatives of maintaining this relationship both for you and her. Good luck!
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 5:40 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • having these types of people in your life will do you no good so cut ties unless she makes real changes. I am not opposed to giving someone a chance but they have to want to change and be the type of person I would want to be around
    beautyoperator

    Answer by beautyoperator at 6:04 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • The easy thing to do would be to cut ties. I've cut ties before and it's only hurt me in the end.
    I would tell her again that you are there for her and want to support her and really want to help her make the change. I'm sure she wants to change just as much as everyone wants her to change. Drugs do weird things to people. Really encourage her to make the change, but if she doesn't I wouldn't drop her. I wouldn't trust her either, but I would be there for her as much as I could.
    theutilitarian

    Answer by theutilitarian at 6:16 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Depending on what state you are living in, the family may be able to do an intervention and force her to go to rehab. That's the route I would check into. She is an addict and she will likely never choose on her own to do anything about it, at least not until it is too late for her body to recover. If the whole family knows she has the problem, and you all decide to do what is best for her, that would be the best plan. If you all turn your backs on her because she won't do it for herself, she will likely end up dead on the streets. The longer this goes on, the more desperate she will become. She needs help now before things get any worse. Make some phone calls and see what has to be done in your area to get her the help she needs.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:32 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I also am the only one in the family who maintains a relationship. It seems like Im her emotional support, her last connect with the family, I'm also the middle man because she is anti-social.
    DomoniqueWS

    Comment by DomoniqueWS (original poster) at 5:34 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • (((hugs))) sorry you are going through this. You can only do what you can live with - she sounds like she needs others to stop enabling her before she will be ready to make a life change. Good luck.
    smokeybear

    Answer by smokeybear at 8:12 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I had to turn my back on my x and walk away. It's never easy but sometimes we have to do what we have to do to keep our own lives sane.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:55 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

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