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Does anyone else feel this way?

I am a stay at home mom to a lively 6 and 5 yr old. And it seems that no matter what I do they will never listen to me. I tell them to stay in our yard when they go outside and they end up in the neighbors yard. I tell them to eat their dinner and they can play after, and they scream an play while still at the table. No matter what I do they want to do the opposite. My hubby works all the time and says that when they go to school that I will go back to work and that will help me with all of the stress. But sometimes I think they just don't want to listen. What do you think?

Answer Question
 
rainfey

Asked by rainfey at 8:35 AM on Jun. 28, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 9 (320 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • i think that they need discipline, if they have consequences for there actions they wont act that way anymore!
    momma2b2008

    Answer by momma2b2008 at 8:52 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Yes, some discipline is in order here. If they go outside to play and are told to stay in your yard, and then disobey by going out of the yard, then you take away their playing privileges for a couple of days. If you tell them they can play after dinner if they behave, and then they act terrible at the table, then no playing afterwards, just got straight to their rooms. It's amazing how most children will comply with your expectations when they fear losing out on their fun.
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 8:55 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • i agree with pp, but, it can be a part of a child's nature to not listen. that is a part of being a child, exploring your boundaries. the best thing we can do as parents is always have the same boundaries, and consequences.
    i know it is hard, and i know it can be very frustrating, and easy to give up.
    sometimes at dinner we have regular conversation, sometimes we go over flashcards, which can keep the kids busy. i have one child that really should not talk at all at the dinner table, or he won't eat at all, so sometimes i have to say, okay, no more talking!
    if you tell them to stay in the yard, and they don't, then they need to come in the house. they can try again later. be sure they know why they are not to be in the neighbor's yard. i know, it is all easier said than done. good luck mama!
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 8:57 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • you really shouldn't be sending a pair of preschoolers out to play alone anyway but if you want them to listen better you just need to be sure they have consequences for their actions and stick to them consistently.
    Angelbluewingsz

    Answer by Angelbluewingsz at 8:58 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I agree, they need to understand that there are consequences when they don't listen. However, don't make up ridiculous punishments (dh does this, if our 8 YO chews with her mouth open at the dinner table, he threatens to make her eat in the garage or put her in the yard like a dog - she's not stupid, she knows that would never happen - sometimes she just forgets to close her mouth). When I was young, if we played at the table without eating, our plates were taken away and we had to sit on our hands (it was only for like two minutes, but mom never told us how long it would be), then we were given another chance to eat. After the second chance, if we acted up still we were sent to our room w/out dinner - we would get it later, but it was cold and nasty.
    Also, we don't allow TV when we eat and we eat at the table - no exceptions. I eat with the kids to remind them no fooling around.
    plylerjones

    Answer by plylerjones at 8:59 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I agree. The kiddos need discipline, boundaries, rules. If you tell them to play in their own yard and they leave their yard, they have to go inside. If you tell them to sit still, be quiet, and eat and they're bouncing around, yelling, and NOT eating then they're clearly not hungry and should get ready for bed. Room isn't clean? Clean it up... And lock all of their stuff in the closet.- That worked wonders for my two boys. I know it's stressful.. There are days I want to pull my hair out. lol Mine are 6, almost 5, 3.5, and 2.
    nytefae

    Answer by nytefae at 9:37 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Is there a clear understanding of what your yard is? Fence? Markers? We put up little posts with colored fabric so the kids knew their boundaries. There were no fences in the neighborhood. good luck
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 9:59 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Be firm and consistent. The misbehavior at meal time means their meal is over, and no treats later on the evening for sure. The leaving the yard is a serious matter. It is possible that they get excited about the other children and just forget, so although this is breaking the rules, it is also understandable. Tell them that if they want to leave the yard they must come and ask you because it is important that you know where they are. Until they do this, then they need to be given time outs or other punishment, since this is a matter of their safety. Praise for acceptable behavior. Be insistent about rule obeying- this is for their safety.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:09 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • The leaving the yard part is the most concerning. When you tell them a 'rule' and they break your rule, there should be a clearly defined punishment coming to them. When they go outside you tell them "You may not leave our yard, if you leave our yard you will be in your bedroom for the rest of the night, no tv, not playing". And follow through!
    Another tool that could help you would be a reward chart. You can make them for free on the internet with fun pictures on them....google free reward charts. Tell them that if they eat all of their dinner and don't fool around at the table then they will earn a smiley face on their chart. When they get "X" smiley faces then they will earn a treat. Soon they will be so used to this new behavior that it will be the normal and you won't have to continue to 'reward' them.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 11:25 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I agree with what Bmat said.
    itsallabtthem84

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 11:28 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

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