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Will kids act out if their parents are no longer together??

ever since my n my boyfriend broke up our 2yr old has been acting out alot. she doesnt act out as much at his house as she does at mine. i tried time outs i tried spanking her butt nothing seems to work. she doesnt eat much anymore. i just dont know what to do anymore..

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AllisonsMommy67

Asked by AllisonsMommy67 at 10:26 AM on Jun. 28, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Why are you punishing her? She probably is upset and distressed that her family circumstances have changed. Instead of punishing her for expressing her feelings I think you should be there and let her express them. Once she is done hold out your hands and I am sure you will get a hug.

    Just be supportive and she will get past the change.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 10:30 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Yes they will. And it can be hard to deal with. You might consult with a developmental peditrician to see if they can offer any advice to help her cope with it. Of course being two you have the regular testing of limits going on too and if the parents can't agree on what is and is not acceptable things are bound to be worse.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 10:31 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • just let her know you realize she is mad and sad-because thats how she feels. her family broke up and she is too little to understand it may be for the best. to her, her parents messed up her world. just love her thru it and stick to your riules and things set up. like i said let her know she is loved and things will be ok, and eventually she will settle back down.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:31 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Fit throwing and not eating as much...sounds like my DD who will be 2 in a couple weeks...and her daddy and I are very much still married and together. Could be her way of expressing her feelings, could by typical 2 year old behavior. Since it's hard to determine which one it is, I would approach her fits with love and caring. Not every child responds well to timeouts and spanking, so maybe try an alternate form of discipline.
    milfalicious08

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 10:39 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I agree that punishing her for trying to express her sadness and frustration is not going to help. How about encouraging her to express her feelings in a constructive way rather than spanking her for it? Paint or draw pictures, ask her how she feels and what would make her feel better, etc. She needs understanding and patience right now more than anything.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 10:40 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Children fare better in a two-parent family. Little girls are particularly attached to their daddies. More than likely what you are seeing is a reaction to the removal of someone who is very, very important to your daughter. How you are going to handle that will require much wisdom and a great deal of sensitivity. You, on the one hand, cannot allow her to grow up throwing fits and doing as she pleases. On the other hand, you must realize that she has suffered a very great loss in her young life and you will need to be sensitive to the pain that she is feeling but is yet too young to verbalize.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:40 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Many times it is important to try to keep the same structure and routine at home as before. She will feed off of your stress level. Espcially if she is sensitive. So it is important to try to stay calm when she is acting out. Have you've tried to distract her with doing something or changing the subject. Also when she is upset, choose your words cautiously. I have heard parents say,for example, I can;t do anything about it you daddy left. Say i know your upset or I know your mad. Its ok to be mad or upset that is normal. Try to However, it is not ok to behave in this manner. then set consequences and also rewards. Put a chart up and make sure you keep up with it. It works. Good luck and hang in there !
    butterfly04rt

    Answer by butterfly04rt at 10:53 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Children react differently to changes. My daughter started acting up when her father and I got back together. Luckily that was short lived. Hopefully things get better for you
    dharmas_mommy

    Answer by dharmas_mommy at 11:32 AM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Nanny, she's still in a two-parent family. They just don't live together. Just because two parents aren't together doesn't mean one ceases to be a parent. At two, she is at a point where she has few coping skills and lacks the communications skills to tell you what she wants and needs. It could just be normal for her age. However, I think kids do feel the effects of a break up. The most important thing you can do is to make sure to keep her routine as consistant as possible and let her know she has two parents who love her more than anything.
    lvpenguino

    Answer by lvpenguino at 12:25 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

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