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has anyone's relationship been so bad with their mil that they just gave up? Did it affect your relationship with your husband?

My mil just flat out can't stand me. Just to be clear I have done nothing to make her feel this way and have always been super nice to her ALL the time. She decided to call me on mothers day to tell me how much she hates me. She has done many other things and now wants my husband and my daughter to go four hours away to her house for the fourth of july without me (he said no). Not sure why she hates me (I'm a very nice person). I'm just wondering if I should just give up trying to get her to like me. Its affecting me since I can't stop thinking about it. I don't want my husband to get in the middle of it because its his mom and I don't want her starting to be nasty to him too. My daughter hardly knows her grandma because she refuses to visit us because of me.

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samantha21385

Asked by samantha21385 at 12:14 PM on Jun. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (953 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I think you should give up on trying to make anyone like you.You can't really make anyone do anything or think a certain way. My MIL is a bitch, my sister's istoo, my sister finally just suggested we both ignore them and do what we want, when we want and how we want, where we want. It is afterall our lives, nobody can live it for us.
    I began completely ignoring her about 8-9 yrs ago, and she eventually got the hint. As far as the husband goes, it took a few years into the new system but eventually he finally realized with absolutely no actions from me-his mother was the troublemaker. I think if you can find a way to make your husband see your MIL how she really is and let him decide for himself, you'll come out on top. GL!
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 12:22 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Unfortunately for her, she is going to end up losing all of you. Your DH sounds like he is doing right by you and probably won't put up with it for much longer. She is probably just one of those women that doesn't like the idea of another woman taking away her son. She has brought this on herself and will suffer for it in the end. Hang in there and good luck:)
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 12:23 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • OP here
    Ty for the advice. My husband id a good man and sees what she is really like. I just hate the way she is.
    samantha21385

    Comment by samantha21385 (original poster) at 12:28 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • My MIL and I do NOT like each other. we never have. But we're civil to each other for DH and the LO's sake. I do not go out of my way to please her as I once did, and I never will again. She's just a bitter lady that I try to avoid, and when I can't avoid her I'm respectful but not friendly. DH doesn't care. There's a huge long list of things this woman has done to me and he doesn't blame me a bit for feeling the way I do.
    renea20

    Answer by renea20 at 1:08 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Life with my MIL was always trying. When I met my dh they did not have a relationship. We were married 9 years before I became pregnant. She then decided she wanted to be part of our life (actually she threatened to sue for visitation-which we found she can't do in our state.) The six years she was part of our lives it was full of criticism and tantrums because things had to be her way. In the sixth year I became pregnant again and she stormed out on us because we didn't give her her way. It drastically went downhill because I stopped all contact. She will have to apologize to us. I am done.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:24 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

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