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WOULD YOU ??what you would do if you daughter was pregnant?

Hi
well i got pregnant at the age of 15 my mom she didn't support me at all!
she told me to get an abortion because i was to younger (still a child)... i know i was young, but i told her:" mom if i made a mistake i have to pay it! i won't do an abortion because if i wasn't read to be a mom now i have to!"
she slap in my face after i told her that.
she kicked me off her house, so now i live with an antie and with my daughter..
i have been trought alot, because my dad died when i was only 9 after that i became more wild and i was a wild teen girl...
but i wouldn't ever kick my daughter if she was pregnant! my mom didn't worried where i was going to live and how i was going to support my child, and for me it is still unreal to believe! i have a brother and a sister and it seem's like she don't want them to be with me, because i'm a bad example.
but my question is: what you would do if you daughter was pregnant?

Answer Question
 
Sofiah

Asked by Sofiah at 12:29 PM on Jun. 28, 2010 in About CafeMom

Level 9 (300 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I was raised in a pro life home. Abortion was not an option for me. PERIOD. Though I chose to raise my child, I believe it was wrong to FORCE that as the ONLY option.

    I would obviously support her decision- but would make clear what he decision is going to mean for the rest of her life, and would most definitely be offering termination as an OPTION. It's her right to decide, not mine.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 12:32 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I would be as supportive as I could. I wouldn't raise the baby for her, but I would help her as much as I could. I would love my child unconditionally as she has loved me all throughout her childhood. I know it couldn't be easy, but worse things could have happened. I'd just be greatful she is still with me(alive) and deal with whatever comes up. Dealing with an addict could be alot worse than trying to raise my child to be a great parent themselves.
    NicoR

    Answer by NicoR at 12:32 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I would first and foremost be very disappointed. I would be hurt. I would have to get past that first. I would then make sure she was aware of her options and make sure she knew that if she chose to keep the baby it would be HER baby. She would be responsible. I would help and guide but all in all it would be her child for her to raise and care for. It's my job to be grandma and her job to be the mom.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 12:34 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Support her as much as I possibly could,and I would MAKE her go to school and college,Id help her pay for everything up until she could do it herself,because thats what my mother does for me I and her do not believe in abortion or adoption,and there are plenty of worse things my daughter could have done than got pregnant,of course it would hurt my heart that she doesnt get to do certain things teens that dont have kids do,but I would never leave her at a time like that,ever.
    mommy16love

    Answer by mommy16love at 12:34 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I have 2 DD's they are only 5 and 2.5 now though. But this has been brought up a few times with DH and I. I asked him what he would do if our DD's came home and 1 was pregnant. He said there is nothing to do what has been done is done. So I agree with him. Yes I would be upset because I would want a better life for her and I would want her to enjoy being a kid, but if she was pregnant I wouldn't kick her out and I would help her as much as I could. I don't think I could let her have an abortion because that can ruin your body and I couldn't let her kill my soon to be gradchild. So I don't think I would allow her to have an abortion. If she wanted a adotion I don't think I could allow that either I think I would take custody of the child. But I would never disown my DD for that or kick her out
    mommy5409

    Answer by mommy5409 at 12:35 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • We have a 17 yr old, and if she ever (knock on wood) came home pregnant we would support her 100%. Kids are kids, they tend to do things without ever thinking of the consequences. We are her parents, she is the product of our parenting and we would help her make it right. Of course we would be devastated but move on and deal with it from there. As far as abortion goes, not sure I could be on board with that and adoption would never happen. I couldn't live knowing that I had a grandchild out there that I didn't know.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 12:36 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Well I wouldn't act like your mother, I would talk to her and encourage her to do the best thing for her and the baby,, depending on her age, and the status of the father, that might include adoption, or marriage, or raising the child with me and her father helping her,,,,sounds like you picked up your life and have a great kid,, Congrats to you and give your auntie a big kiss!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 12:37 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • i hope that i would not freak out (not in front of her anyway) then support her in her choice
    it would be hard for me to support her if she made choice of abortion, but hopefully she would not see my dissappointment in her choice, i would try to get her counsiling by professional (objective info) and stand by her choice either way
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 12:44 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • We can't pick our mothers. You can't make her be the mother you want her to be. You are lucky to have a family member to stay with.


    Your mother believed an abortion was best for you or her or both. She could be right. Having a baby at 15 is not good for you and won't be a good life for the baby. Having a baby at 15 because you have to pay for your mistake isn't a good reason. I would have recommended you have an abortion. I wouldn't have kicked you out if you decided not to have one. I would have suggested I help raise the baby so you could continue school.


    My children are adults. I let my son's girlfriend live with us when she was pregnant and her mother kicked her out. She was around 23. The baby was stillborn and they broke up.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:54 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I would never tell my daughter to get an abortion. I am pro life. I also would never kick my chlid out for getting pregnant.
    Have you saught help. WIC, job abd family services. they can help you get a job and food and daycare and health care.
    Good Luck mama and good for you for making this choice and a step in the right derection!
    tiredmomfor2

    Answer by tiredmomfor2 at 1:10 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

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