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Would you confront your SIL, or since it is over not let your DS go there again?

I had a sales meeting this weekend and DS went to my SIL's house,, he loves to go and they spoil him like crazy. He has never went in the summer, only the winter. Anyway I found out that they went to the lake and went boating,, she did not make him wear a life jacket! He just turned 5 years old and can kind of swim, but not so good,,I was MORTIFIED! He would have drowned if ANYTHING would have happened, DS told me he didn't want to wear it, so she didn't make him,, HE said, I knew you would be mad! I said Billy you are never to even go around a lake or pool without a lifejacket on,, you know better--What do you think?

 
kimigogo

Asked by kimigogo at 12:48 PM on Jun. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 37 (91,454 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • If she does not have kids she may not realize how quick accidents happen, and that life jackets are a must. Yes, it would upset me but I would be calm when I talked to her and say something like: "Sue, Billy had a great time with you this past weekend. It sounds like you did a lot of fun things. My only concern is Billy told me he did not wear a life jacket when he was on the boat. In our house we have a rule that Billy needs to wear a life jacket. He knows he is supposed to wear it and it was wrong of him to tell you he did not want to wear it. Next time please make sure he wears it".
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:34 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • That would scare the heck out of me! I would be very mad. They need to know that he is 5 and not in charge...they are. If they can't watch him properly, then they don't get to! He also needs to know he has to listen to the adult in charge or he won't get to go to there anymore. Wow! Thank goodness nothing happened to him!!!!!
    MommyH2

    Answer by MommyH2 at 12:52 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I would just tell her that I'd appreciate it if he was made to wear a life jacket next time they are going to take him on the boat. Simple and non threatening. Then, let my son know that he is to wear it every time.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 12:54 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • i say he needs to wear a friggin life jacket.. water is no joke. while i was working summers at the Y I hated taking my kids to the pool because of all the precautions and i was all paranoid and stuff. They showed a lot of horror stories and everything. for reals, if they don't make him wear a life jacket (which they can because they're adults) than he needs to keep his booty safe in the house.
    khmymommi

    Answer by khmymommi at 12:51 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I would confront my SIL> that was dangerous. and they shouldnt have taken him out without first asking you! Children should never be on a boat of any kind without a life jacket
    tiredmomfor2

    Answer by tiredmomfor2 at 12:54 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I agree with you on the lifejacket issue NOT being up for a discussion...and what kind of dingbat thinks that because the 5 year old says "I don't want to", that that would be a good reason to FAIL on a major safety issue? Duh! Anyway, I guess if I were in your shoes, I would handle it this way: If I thought for one second that there's a chance that my child might be in the position to be on the boat or something with them again, then YES, I would talk to SIL about it and explain that a lifejacket is not optional. If there were zero chance of him being on the boat w/ her again, I'd probably let it go just to avoid the confrontation. But if that's the case, then I'd just be on my toes whenever she's with him in the future (for example, if he's getting in the car with her, I'd make sure to mention that he MUST wear his seatbelt).
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 12:55 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Wow, since they where taking him on a day trip elsewhere, you should have received a phone call before hand. Permission was super important here. I would say something to them, they need to know what the rules are. Thank goodness he is ok mamma
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 12:57 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • It was irresponsible- Do they have kids of their own? If not, she may not "get it".
    Be assertive, and let her know it's not ok, and that he should ALWAYS wear one. If he is going to whine, and not want to, then no boat. Let her know that she broke trust with you, even if it was unintentional, and that you need to KNOW that your child is safe at all times.

    Tell her the truth, just be tactful. YOU need to address it WITH your dh, not him instead of you. You are the mother, and should be able to talk to anyone who cares for your child.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:01 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Send a life jacket with him next time and tell her he must wear it if he's going near the water. Just tell her how you feel.
    WendyJR

    Answer by WendyJR at 1:14 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I think that you or your DH should have a conversation with your SIL. You can try the approach of not being confrontational about it and just let her know that your DS told you about what happened and that "he should know better" and ask her to please make sure he has one on next time, that it doesn't matter whether or not he wants one on, it is your rule and he has to follow it even when you are not around.  If you take this approach I think it would probably eliminate any room for conflict with your SIL but she is also being put on notice that this is a must with you, if it happens again then I would recommend not allowing him to visit/go on the boat unless you or your DH are there with him.

    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 12:54 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

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