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4 Bumps

what would you do?

Okay so Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 6 months, well when we first started dating we went to the strip club where he got a lap dance right in front of me, at the time I was okay with it. I mean he was touching all over her and talking dirty, well somehow I had forgot about the situation and blocked it all out....well 6 months later I now think about it and it is causes me tons of problems to the point I just wanna break up. What would you guys do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Jun. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I think you are being silly. You were fine with it at the time and it bothers you now? You can not bring up the past and have a successful relationship
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 1:13 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I think you went willingly,, and HE did go home with you right? Don't fall into the trap re-living something that you were "comfortable" with at the time,, if you don't like it,, and he has been going without you,, then yes maybe you should break up and with the next man STAND-UP for your self when you feel uncomfortable,,, how many kiddos do you have?
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:14 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I would try to leave the past in the past. If it happens again, than you can put a stop to it. Tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable seeing him touch other girls, now that you have been dating longer. Good luck, hun!
    boyerbaby

    Answer by boyerbaby at 1:15 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • What kinds of problems? How you feel about him? How you think he feels about you? That he's not being honest? What? I agree that you can't bring up the past and punish him for it, especially if you were ok with it, but I understand why it would bother you.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 1:23 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I think that the past is the past and should be left there. Is there another reason why this is bothering you again? Has he talked about it lately? If he has I think that if it's bothering you so much, you need to tell him how you feel and what bothers you about it. If there has been no conversation or no visits there you're setting your relationship up for problems without it being necessary. good luck!

    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 1:23 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I say get over since it was 6 months ago when you guys first started dating. Dont let something so long ago bother you.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:26 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Talk to him. Honestly with this sort of thing it can be hard just to get over. Did you go thinking it would be different? Were you surprised by his behavior? If you two are seriou, then you have every right to step up and say...I was not ok with this, I don't know why I let it go so long, but I need to talk with you about it. Dont let it sit and build more resentment. Chances are he doesnt realize he did anything wrong, but in order to "fix" this, and prevent it from happening again. You need to talk to him.
    RheaF

    Answer by RheaF at 1:32 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Well obviously he didn't do anything wrong persay because you allowed it to happen, didn't do anything, and stayed with him. You can't come back months later and say well ya know I was ok for it but now I am not because the more i think about it the more it bothers me. It would honestly have been an issue to me right then and there. I don't approve of strip clubs and my husband knows it. If you don't vocalize your likes and dislikes then he can't read your mind.
    carmadsmom

    Answer by carmadsmom at 1:39 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • WAIT WHAT? He took you to a STRIP CLUB? There's nothing wrong with that but the fact that no decent guy would willingly get a LAP DANCE let alone talk dirty and touch if he gave a damn about you. Maybe after you've been together for a while but you said it was when you were FIRST dating.

    No offense, but are you THAT naive? Is this the type of guy that you want to be with? The kind that thinks its ok to do that kind of things let alone IN FRONT OF YOU.

    Regardless of if you say its ok, its WRONG and disrespectful. Despicable. Don't try to prove that you're an "open" or "cool" girl by ok-ing things like that, you have nothing to prove because you're already a great person and don't have to change or prove yourself.
    Deathlilly

    Answer by Deathlilly at 1:53 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • " Well obviously he didn't do anything wrong persay because you allowed it to happen, didn't do anything, and stayed with him"

    Shame on you carmadsmom. I agree that staying with him was wrong but to say that he didn't do anything wrong because SHE allowed it? That's sad. We shouldn't have to be our SO's keeper/mother/caretaker/etc. Its up to them whether they do s**t like that and it's never the woman's fault. Now the fact that she didn't do anything and stayed....well that's just plain stupid (no offense).
    Deathlilly

    Answer by Deathlilly at 2:01 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

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