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2 Bumps

has anyone's relationship been so bad with their mil that they just gave up? Did it affect your relationship with your husband?

My mil hates me. I have done nothing to make her feel like this. I am a nice person and always treat her great. She called me up on mothers day to tell me how much she can't stand me, she has mae me uncomfortable with many things she has said/done, and she wants my husband and daughter to go four hours away to spend forth of july with her and specifically said not me (my husband said no to her). Should I just give up? I've ytied to so long to get her to be nice to me but its driving me crazy. I don't want my husband in the middle of it. She hardly knows her granddaughter since she won't come here to visit and she's mad at me because my husband won't take her up there without me. I'm thinking of throwing in the towel but I'm hoping it doesn't affect me and my husband's relationship.

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samantha21385

Asked by samantha21385 at 1:17 PM on Jun. 28, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 13 (953 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • If your husband knows you've tried, and he realizes how awful your MIL has been to you, I would think he'd understand about you throwing in the towel.

    I'm sorry, that really sucks.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 1:20 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Keep talking it over with your husband and present a united front. Can he talk to her about it or is it too late for that? I would continue to be nice even if it killed me. I would not talk badly about her to your child. She will see for herself how things are. If you and your husband are happy that's all that matters. I wish it was different for you. She is missing out on so much. Hugs.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:21 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • MINE! I finally gave up trying to get her to like me when she has no reason to hate me besides I took her 21 yr old boy away from her. He stilled lived with mommy when I came around and after we met he was always over at my apartment and it pissed her off. Then we got married and had babies so she hates me even more.
    My hubby is upset I dont get along with the in laws but I refuses to bend over backwards to please them. They need to accept me for who I am or deal with it and place nice. I'm nice to them but no matter what I do they find any little reason to treat me like shit and hate me.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:22 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Wow,your mil has got some issues to work on.Seriously,I think your husband was right to refuse going without you.This kind of behavior only fuels further encroachments and disrespect.Regardless of what may be going on between you and your mil,she still is wrong to exclude you.You are a family and she needs to accept that.I've had plenty of issues with my mil,but if your husband can stand his ground with his mom,then she'll have to realise her mistake.Parents can act up but it's their children's responsibilty to set the rules concerning their SO.
    MyrMar

    Answer by MyrMar at 1:24 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I never had a problem with my ML..she was a great woman but based on what you have written I would jsut give up and ignore her, I think your hubby would understand.
    LadySaphira

    Answer by LadySaphira at 1:26 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • My MIL has never been welcoming to me... she was not happy when dh and I got married because we're different races/cultures and she had an issue with that. She was trying to fix him up with 'nice Indian girls' right up to when we got married. We've been married for twelve years and I've come to the conclusion that we are never going to be friendly. The way I see it at this point, my responsibility is to give the kids an opportunity to know her. So I am polite and make sure to invite her to anything pertaining to the kids, but beyond being civil when I see her and making sure she gets an invite to b-days and events I'm not going to try to have a relationship with her. It really hasn't affected my marriage with dh... he acknowledges that his parents and have issues with me and because he's not in denial about that he can see my position, and I've been careful not to make him 'choose' between us.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 1:27 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • There are not enough characters for me to describe what a manipulative hole my MIL is. Has if affected our relationship? Not anymore. Nope.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 1:48 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Thanks everyone. My husband is a good man and he knows she's crazy. I just can't believe she won't get over herself for my daughter's sake.
    samantha21385

    Comment by samantha21385 (original poster) at 2:08 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

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