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3 Bumps

Does anyone else get stupid and emotional?

I admit it, I'm insecure. My SO knows this. I don't really get jealous or anything, I pretty much keep it to myself because it's my issue, not his. But am I the only one that does this? I wonder why he's with me, if I'm good looking enough, if he'd rather be with someone else. WTF is wrong with me? I'm not gorgeous, but I'm not hideous. He tells me he loves me, he's a great guy and I have no reason to disbelieve him. I think I'm a pretty good person myself, and he's lucky to have me. So why the hell do I worry that when we are out, he'd rather be with someone else? This is stupid! I tell myself it's stupid and nonsense, but the feelings don't go away. I'm going to end up sabotaging my relationship if I cannot control whatever the hell is wrong with me.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Jun. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I think a lot of people don't want to be screwed over, especially if you've been there i the past, so you always have that up. At least I do. With so many people cheating on one another, it's hard not to feel like something could happen like that.
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 1:52 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • It sounds like you have some self esteem issues - have you tried therapy? As you have already recognized, it's not healthy to question things to the extent you are.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 1:52 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I am the same exact way! Thank you for making me feel sort-of normal for this one...lol I feel like my husband deserves better and he could do better, but I know he loves me. Sometimes I think he is with me just for our son, but I am sure he would disagree. Us women need to just realize that WE are the prize and WE deserve whatever makes us happy! I am sure he is lucky to have you so don't fret on it, or it will just cause issues.
    HuskerMommy08

    Answer by HuskerMommy08 at 1:54 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I have the same feelings and suspicions. In my case though, I was right. My ex husband was giving me every reason to have those feelings by constantly e-mailing dirty and flirty e-mails to other women and God knows what else.

    He's one in a million though, which is a fantastic thing because if more guys were as messed up as him, I'd swear off men all together.

    I wish I could give you some advice about how to raise your self esteem up but I can't. I've had terrible self esteem for as long as I can remember.
    I try to hide it in front of my kids though because I don't want them growing up with the same issues as I did.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 1:56 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • It is crazy reading this because I go through the same thing with my husband, and we have been together for quite some time, I still feel insecure about me, not to do with him but insecurities with myself, about the way I look about the qualities I think he wants in a girl and sometimes I feel like I don't fit that. I think that you are trying to deal with it, you understand that this is your issue to deal with not his, my best advice is to continue to work through the way that you feel. What helps me is that if I am really down about this issue I try to talk to my husband about it, I tell him what my insecurity is, he listens, he lets me talks and tries to reassure me that he loves me, he loves my body, loves the way I look and wouldn't want to be with anyone else, and that helps me. I don't do it very often but I do talk to him when I am really down. Good luck mama!

    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 1:56 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I know how you feel. I went to therapy for this same issue and I think I suffered some PPD as well. You should first congratulate yourself for recognizng that this is your issue. It is easy to blame the guy sometimes. Here is what I learned that really helps. I made a list of all my good qualities and kept them in my nightstand. Also made a list of things I like to do. When I felt bad I laid down and read my list. I also made an effort to do the things I enjoy. This really helped me. As I get caught up in things I like, I have less time to entertain thoughts of negativity. Also I don't read my list of good things anymore but I still like to lay down when I feel stress/down. It has become a way for me to regroup and recharge. Everyone is dfferent and counseling is always helpful.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 2:41 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I wanted to add that our men picked us for a reason. I think mine picked me because I am emotional and crazy in love wth him. So there are advantages to being emotional. Life is never boring!
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:52 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

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