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How would you handle a situation

of your kids/step-kids running away and telling the cops that you dropped them off at a recreation center and abandoned them? Well, this happened to me on Thursday, my step-kids got in trouble and were grounded for a couple of days when they decided to run a way and tell the cops that I abandoned them. Well, the cop spoke with me and them and he released the kids in my custody and I believe it the report was going to be written up as a run a way situation. How would you deal with a situation like this. I asked them why they ran a way and they said, because they were mad that they were grounded and that I was upset with them. I am so hurt and angry with them after they did this...not sure how to forgive them after this. How would you handle it? I have been the primary parent along side my husband since 2005. Bio-mom is in and out of their lives and a drug addict...but she tries to drag us to court every chance she gets.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Jun. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • It sounds like these kids need counceling to deal with their anger issues.....most likely it is miss directed anger with their BM.

    Answer by LadySaphira at 2:59 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I agree with ladysaphira.

    Answer by crazymom21 at 3:01 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Family counseling for all of you and individual counseling sessions for the children would be in order. When a child has a problem, no matter what the problem, it isn't just the child who suffers with it, it is the entire family, as evidenced by your step-children's recent behaviors. Running away because you are mad is a relatively common issue with some pre-teens & teens, but they generally only take it that far when there have been other, long-standing issues that haven't been adequately addressed. A qualified therapist should be able to help them get to the root of their issues and help you & DH to learn how to work through the issues with your children.

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 3:35 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Talk to the police and find out what happens to runaways when thay are picked up, how that are processed thru the system and what happens next. Then sit the kids down and explain the procedure, this way thay will think twice before they do it again. Being an habitual runaway can land them in juvenial detention. I bet they dont realize the consequences of their actions. And I agree w the others, get family counseling

    Answer by FairyRed at 3:53 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Absolutely. The first thing you need to do is counseling, both for the kids and as a family. I know that children who are in the situation yours are in--BM not really around, etc--often have a lot of anger, separation anxiety and abandonment issues. I think that sometimes they subconsciously act out to see if you will still love them no matter how "bad" they are. I know we've seen that with my stepson. In addition to the counseling, I'd say they should probably lose privacy/rights to leave the house without you for a while. If you can't trust them not to run off, then you're going to have to watch them closely because you love them and don't want to lose them. Do they realize how much trouble you could get in if the police had believed you abandoned them?

    Answer by Cassidhes_Mom at 8:51 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

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