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Anyone else's DH do this?

When something is bothering my husband he shuts down completely. Barely says a word to me and seems down and distant.

Intelectually I know he is having a tough time at work, but emotionally I feel like he is mad at me.

Anyone else have this problem? What do you do? How do you get him to just SAY what's wrong?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Jun. 28, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • UGH! MIne does that too!!! It is the most annoying frustrating thing he does! I try my damndest to not take it personally but it is really hard. SInce mine won't talk to me about whats on his mind..of course I assume that he's mad at me for something,lol. Besides me being extremely hormonal right now...I just cant' take when he gets like that.
    I don't know how to get him to say whats wrong. I think he would rather just be left alone to deal with his feelings on his own. It woudl probably be best to just leave him alone and give him his space to get over whatever is wrong and then when he seems back to normal to ask what was wrong...but this is so much easier said that done! lol I'm a person that like to deal with issues right away,talk it out, find a solution..and that same idea doesnt work for him. Good luck and hang in there..I know I do! lol

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 5:35 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Sometimes. Maybe you should try helping him relax. Maybe cook him a nice dinner, give him a shoulder rub and just ask if there's any way you can help. Tell him you can tell he's stressed and you'd really like to be able to help him through this.

    Answer by renea20 at 5:36 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I get that too. I hate it and try not to let it hurt my feelings but it does. I ask how his day went, did anything go wrong and ask if I can help. That last one usually does it, if he really wants to talk. He'll say, "You just listening is enough." Then there are times when he will keep it all bottled up. I know it's hard but try to not take it to heart and hang in there. Relationships get really tough sometimes.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 5:38 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I'll have to check back and see what others say. My DH does this and it drives me NUTS. I'm always asking "Are you angry with me? What's wrong??"

    Answer by nytefae at 5:38 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • BTW, in our relationship, I'm usually the one who shuts down when stressed. I don;t mean to, but it's how I deal with it. The things I mentioned above is what helps me unwind enough to talk about what is bothering me. Usually I don't even realize I'm doing it. Just be patient with him...

    Answer by renea20 at 5:38 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • He has before, with problems at work. What I do is offer to listen, and if he's not ready I just do everything I can to cheer him up, and once he's feeling a little better he opens up to me. I've found that pushing guys to talk will only make them close up more. I know your intentions are good, though, and it's hard when they close up, because we want to help and women tend to have that nurturing instinct.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 5:41 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Men process things differently than we do. I let my dh stew for a while, then I say something like, You're upset. I want to talk about it when you feel up to it.

    It may need to be the next day, and I may need to say, what was up with you yesterday.


    Answer by lovinangels at 5:58 PM on Jun. 28, 2010