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4 Bumps

Confused, Emotional Affair, More??

In an emotional affair (no physical stuff yet) what crosses the line between friendship and somehting "more". Hubby is giving me the just friends routine when I know there is deeper contact with someone at work. He is withdrawn and gives me the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you routine." Advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Jun. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • seek professional advice, consider separating

    Answer by QandA at 6:45 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • def need someone's advice. sounds like an affair, guys do that to put distance in their relationship making them feel better about their choice. don't give him reason to blame you for his trouble and get some help. sorry

    Answer by angevil53 at 6:47 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Sorry to say but that doesn't sound good. I think he is trying to slowly get out his marriage with you for this other woman but is trying to do it in a way that he doesn't come out as the "bad guy".

    Answer by shanlaree at 6:48 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Emotional affairs can sometimes be MORE dangerous than physical ones. Do everything in your power to including professional help to save your marriage. If your marriage is important to you, don't let him fool you.

    Answer by Rnurse at 7:03 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • an emotional affair has crossed the line... call him on his bs... don't just accept his answers or continue to ask questions when you already know better - that just leads him to believe he's getting away with it. not being "in love" all the time is normal in long-term relationships. however, pursuing other relationships is not and is not acceptable. tell him that...

    Answer by figaro8895 at 7:12 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • hmmm....thats a hard situation. an emotional affair is still an affair but i doubt when you ask him he is going to admit to anything. has he been acting differently thenhe usually does?

    Answer by MamaSusieQ045 at 7:43 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Emotional Affairs often cause much more pain than one night stand kind of affairs. If you want to save your marriage seek counseling immediately. If finances are tight there are lots of clinics that have a hardship sliding scale. The I love you but not in love stuff is smoke and mirrors stuff unless the affair has progressed to deep physical involvement. I hope this works out for you.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:29 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • A a married man should not have contact with another women unless that women is a friend of both of yours. Text messages etc between men and women usually end up going south! An emotional affair will ruin you no matter how you try to let it go. I dealt with it for 2 years, i have forgiven him but it still eats me alive day after day. It doesnt get easier it just gets to where you can tolerate the pain. Kepp in mind that alot of women like the challenge of a married man...sad as it is. good luck

    Answer by desperateat48 at 9:47 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • an emotional affair is already crossing the line. your marriage is now hanging in the balance, you need to call him out on what he is doing. go to counseling ASAP. he needs to focus on your marriage and family, is he really going to sacrifice his family over some random woman. good luck because this is one heck of a situation you are in

    Answer by 3xangel at 5:54 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

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