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Ex husband who I have an active restraining order against is PUMPING my kids for info- He does not have our address... but he's trying to get info from them every time they talk.
I keep the phone on speaker, and jump in to correct them... BUT, I can't believe the nerve of this asshole!

I have tried so hard not to be the typical ex wife, I have been kind, rational, and giving where the kids are concerned- he is there dad... But I can't put up with this!!!!

HOW do you keep a level head with your ex?


Asked by ObbyDobbie at 7:44 PM on Jun. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 34 (70,074 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • that is a difficult situation to say the least. you cant just cut him out of your life since you have kids together but i have a question, since he doesnt know your address does he see the kids? i wasnt sure from how you asked the question....

    Answer by MamaSusieQ045 at 7:47 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Be careful!
    I had a restraining order on my ex husband too. We moved and he didn't know where we lived but I allowed him to talk to our son on the phone. After almost a year of pretty much keeping my self in the house, I decided I wanted to go out one night and my cousin who was a teenager came over to babysit for me. While I was gone, my son called his dad. His dad talked him into going outside of the apartment and reading him the address. My ex came and picked my son up and KEPT HIM. I had no idea where he lived but I knew he was in the process of moving out of the state. That was my biggest fear, him taking him out of state, I'd never see him again. At that point, the custody order wasnt in place yet, it was still being battled in the courts (such a long process). Anyway...I DID get him back (thank goodness) but after that, I never let my guard down again.Now I have it in legal papers, he can NOT take him w/o my permissio

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 7:50 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • That's so scary! Is there anything you can bring up to the court or your lawyer or anything about keeping him away. It's probably hard to not let him or them talk to each other....
    Ugh...I'm sorry your having such a sucky time with him.

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 7:46 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • record it and file contempt! that is really scary

    Answer by kjbennett26 at 7:47 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • write down everyhting and keep log of what was said....if he keeps trying to use your kids to locate you then i would report it? if you dont mind me asking why is he allowed to speak with the kids if you have a restraining order against him?

    Answer by sweetestkitten at 7:47 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • In many states a bio dad has the right to know where his children are unless he did harm to them. He's not nice by using the kids. My parents did that and it made me the nervous wreck I am today!.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:54 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • I wound up going before the SAME judge 3 times, and he stated, ON RECORD that 'You deserve everything you have gotten and more- that is what happens when you aren't faithful".
    I had an "affair" if you want to call it that, since I hadn't slept in the same room, let alone the same bed with my ex in almost 2 years- except for the night he raped me... This damn judge has denied me anything but a standard restraining order which does NOT prohibit him from showing up here, simply from harassment.

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 7:51 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • Kim- my ex did the SAME thing, sort of- he already kidnapped our son once, and it took almost 5 mo to get him home!!!

    I have full custody, he has SUPERVISED visitation, and I am required to let him speak with the children daily.

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 7:52 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • How horrible. I would do more than just keep a list. Get a recorder and tape the conversations so it is not your word against his.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 9:28 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • @ McZ~ That is just it- he was indicated, and found guilty of child abuse and neglect, though no criminal charges were filed. I DO NOT have to release my address to him.

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 11:26 AM on Jun. 29, 2010