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my new husband and i are thinking about having a baby,i have 2 from a previous relationship and he is wonderful with them but they are gone everyother weekend so we get a break,he says he want and is ready for a baby and i know i am but how can i be sure that he fully understands how it will change things and that he IS ready???? any suggestions

i culdnt ask for a better "step-father" for my children but id hate for my "fever" to just be rubbing off on him

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proud_mrs

Asked by proud_mrs at 3:09 AM on Jun. 28, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • If it is just YOU thinking about having another baby, then it is just you. But if, as you stated; you & your new husband are talking about it; then it may be time. I don't believe anyone is ever really ready for the changes parenthood brings. Even having 2 others, whether they are there all the time, or gone part-time; another child in the house will change the dynamic in the home and a new BABY.....you remember what that's like? Who is ever ready? If he is a good step-father; then he will likely be a great father. Give him a chance. And the addition to the family; will bond you all even more. Good Luck!
    TazzMom

    Answer by TazzMom at 3:57 AM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • If all the pieces are in place, and both of you are very sure you are readym then go for it. I think it is fine as long as you have talked about things and both are ready for the changes that comes with it. I have a son from a previous marriage and when I got pregnant with our first child it was very hectic and it changed our relationship very much after she was born. Then 25 months later we did it again...LOL.. I guess what I am saying is just make sure the two of you are close in a way that you are ready for trials and tribulations of going through pregnancy together (that alone changes your relationship) and then to have a little one around the house... it is huge... what I can say is that we did go through it rather quickly, but it has made us stronger, we did have issues though, but all of those issues are workable as long as both people are willing to work at it...
    BreakingFree

    Answer by BreakingFree at 7:15 AM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • no one is ever really ready for there first child. but it's ok. if you want it and he wants it then go for it. maybe sit down and talk with him first and try to explain your feelings. kinda sounds like you don't want another baby right now.
    sarahmarie85

    Answer by sarahmarie85 at 10:04 AM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • How did any of us know that we were ready??? I am still wondering. LOL If he is a good Step parent....it shows that he has good parenting instincts...trust those instincts. He sounds like a great guy..you lucky gal. Give that man a baby, girlfriend.
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 10:38 AM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • I don't think you can. Were any of us really ready for the change in our lives? We can prepare all we want to but the real deal doesn't happen until it happens. He has more of a handle on it than most guys. He's probably as ready as he's gonna be!
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 1:35 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • He will never be able to understand until it is in his face. Men change dramatically when a baby comes into the mix...well most men do. I personally was on the other side of it. I was a step parent first. We only got my stepkids on every other weekend and thought I was ready for a kid too. I had no idea. After my daughter got here I was super overwhelmed but my fiance helped me through it and now I can't stand to be away from her.
    HeatherTurner

    Answer by HeatherTurner at 2:47 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • Communicate. Make sure you explain to him what all it's going to take. Make him watch Bringing Home Baby on TLC...lol. It might even take having the baby to make him realize. My husband was in shock when he finally saw what all a baby takes. Sometimes you're never really ready.
    boyerbaby

    Answer by boyerbaby at 3:10 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • same situation here... i have a lil girl from a previous relationship so she's with her dad every weekend (fri night till sun morning)... so now that we'll have our il guy around 24/7 it'll be a huge adjustment to not get that nice quiet break on the weekends. i think you'll just get into the groove with it and it shouldn't be much of an issue.. if it's too much there's always babysitters and after they go to bed right! :)
    Ambreelulu

    Answer by Ambreelulu at 11:30 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • every woman wonders about how it will be once the baby comes and will the dad be a good dad. look at his dad. was he a good dad? kids learn from thier parents. and talk to him about your concerns.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 12:57 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

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