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I need help. How do I ask for help? I feel like I should be able to do everything. I am not capable of doing anything right now due to illness.

Here is the deal. I have a mental block against asking for help. I don't know why. I am very sick, working full time, and my family is trying to help, sporadically. But I need consistent help every day. (Around the house.) How do I get that? This is medically necessary.


Asked by Whatkids at 12:34 AM on Jun. 29, 2010 in About CafeMom

Level 12 (711 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • Im sorry you are ill. Can you take a disability leave from work for your illness? I have an illness as well and I was so overwhelmed when I got the diagnosis. It has been baby steps. I found out what things I could qualify for, which was basically nothing. Which made things more overwhelming since Im a single parent. I have learned to ask for help from my kids. I have learned to ask for help from the community. Parents who could drive my kids home, cause I cant see at all to drive in the pm anymore. I have accepted that and I have learned how to trust people and be grateful for what they do. Know that they are doing it b/c they want to help, that was the most amazing part for me, they really want to help. Notice I said nothing about family b/c my family lives 3000 away. I have depended on parents, church members and neighbors for help. And I have learned how to help them back in return, small things where I can

    Answer by beyondhopes at 12:45 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • write a letter? i mean look if you have kids and you need help-ask for your kids.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:36 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Maybe when they ask how to help or say what can i do (im hoping they ask!) say it would be great if you can take a day or take on a specific chore (the lawn, the laundry, picking up kids, etc. or a day of the week to bring dinner.

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 12:38 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Umm, you didn't state, is there a DH/SO, kids, how many, what ages? If there is a DH/SO I would sit them down and have a real heart to heart about how you just can't do it all anymore and how you need support all the way around. As for kids it would depend on the age of course. Teenagers you can try to have the heart to heart. It can be really hard to ask for help if you are used to doing it all... I know, I do the same thing... sometimes its just easier to do it all yourself, but it sounds like you are at a point where you need help. Younger kids can help to if you let them know mommy needs help. All kids need guidance on how to do it though. I am always amazed at what they don't see when cleaning up!

    Answer by SandraLee242 at 12:42 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I have a DH and three teens. They do all the dishes, laundry but only when they feel like it. I have to beg for it to be done. It is pissing me off. I can't lift or stand for a long time. I can't stop coughing. This is really making me worse.

    Comment by Whatkids (original poster) at 12:45 AM on Jun. 29, 2010