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4 Bumps

Would you listen to your mom?

I have a really good friend who married after knowing her husband for only a month. He does not have the best background and she knew little about him. Supposedly now she has changed for the better, she is the oldest of 7 kids, never married and no kids. She has been thinking about removing her bc and getting pregnant by this guy, her mom keeps telling her to wait until a year of marriage, they have been married for 3 months. I think that it is her life and I know she will be capable of taking care of baby even if she is not with her hubby in the future. Shouldn't it just be hers and hubby decision to make? She doesn't want to cause conflict or dissapoint her mom, what would you do? BTW hubby went back to jail 2 months ago because he violated his probation by moving in with her. He is due to get out next month.


Asked by LuvmyFam6 at 8:05 AM on Jun. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,516 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Umm In this case I would listen to Mom. She does not know this guy really - give the marriage a shot for at least a year before pulling the goalie!

    Answer by Mommy_0f_many at 8:08 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • It is her decision...but I think the mom is smart is asking her to wait the year...Even if she is able to care for the child alone, he/she deserves the best chance to have a responsible father in their life...I would suggest she wait too

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 8:10 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I'd so agree to wait. This guy is very sketchy sounding and I would date/marry anyone who has a prison/jail record. How did he break probation by moving in with her?

    Answer by kuriequinn at 8:30 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I've learned that my mom ultimatly has my best interests at heart, and she can see things about relationships or situations that I may not be able to, so I greatly value her I don't always listen to her but if she said it would b smarter to wait a year in this situation I would probably listen to her

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 8:31 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • She should listen to her mother. She already has a couple iffy conditions- the husband in jail, very short courtship, very short marriage. She should wait at the very least a year to find out if the marriage is stable before bringing other human beings into the world. It is easy for people to put on their best behavior for a few dates or even a few months of marriage. It is harder to pretend when you've been together a long time. Yes it is her life, but her mother can see things that a starry eyed young woman with not very much experience of the world can't see.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:34 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • i would def wait i mean he didn't go to jail for good behavior to start with! sounds honestly sorta trashy all together of a situation ..

    Answer by oppsdiditagain at 8:39 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I once ended up married to a man who i thought he was my life partner ,my forever friend. I felt sorry for him cause of his past and he made me feel loved. I gave him three beautiful children and thought my life was set until everything became a horror. It took me 16 yrs. to get the courage to run away with my children after abuse from this man. first year was wonderful util i became pregnant. Thats when it all started.I learned the hard way. Moms say things for a reason although i never had that opportunity from my mom but i myself am a mom and i have seen and been through alot in my life so far and therefore i must say some moms have this special instinct and they sense stuff and try to stop one on time from making a mistake or atleast try by giving that advice. They tend to see something that one doesn't see at that time. If i were your friend i would definitely think things carefully. Remember some moms know best

    Answer by pgee357 at 8:45 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • My mom never gives me advice for selfish reasons. It's always to put myself into a better position in some shape or form. I know love can cloud your judgment, especially new and exciting love... and from an outsiders point of view, I would probably tell her to wait too. I would definitely listen to my mom.
    She may be able to take care of her baby with or without her husband, but it wouldn't be fair to all parties, including the child if it ended up in a very volatile and tense break-up. I don't see the harm in waiting a year, at least until her DH has shaped up, and isn't on probation and etc... Not to mention it's hard for a single mother. Regardless of family/friends support. It's hard being a mother WITH a DH and family/friends support sometimes. I think her mom is looking out for her best interests.

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 9:00 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Her mother is a wise woman. She has given her daughter a great piece of advice. But yes it's ultimately her decision although a very bad one among a few.


    Answer by oldermomof5 at 8:09 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Waiting for a year sounds like good advice, she should listen to her mom. Even if he had a clean background waiting for a year is a good idea. The wait gives the couple time to become a couple first, before the stress of having a child.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:22 AM on Jun. 29, 2010