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What would you say to your husband about his bf's wife?

I am really quiet and shy not as show off ish like my husband's bf's wife. She is very loud . She made it very apparent that she wants her space at get togethers and parties and I concur. The only thing is my hubby called her for her birthday and put me on the phone. Of course she did not call on my birthday just ten days later so my husband's response was I don't want to lose my friend John. So she can be rude to me and I have to take it because it is his bf's wife. What could I say, I am so tired of the argument over this.

 
mamacita69930

Asked by mamacita69930 at 9:05 AM on Jun. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,886 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I would tell my hubs that I am not asking him to end his friendship, I realize how important John is to him, and if he and John want to socialize - fine- but it would be best if it was 'guys only' and not the wives too. I would let him know that I don't care for her, don't want to be around her and I will not put up with her being rude to me.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:24 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • don't seek her out and be polite to her when you see her but don't take any of her shit either. if she's rude to you in front of your husband just take him aside and say "see this is what i'm talking about".
    ibebreezy

    Answer by ibebreezy at 9:10 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I realize you are shy and quiet and don't like the whole confrontation, but your husband is important to you. Women can be so catty, but I would defend my territory like a mama lion. Have a good conversation with your husband and talk about your feelings. You should be the one that is most important to him. It doesn't need to end the friendship but he needs to be your defender in a way, even if its a quiet way, that everyone knows you are his queen so to speak. This woman sounds like she wants to be the center of attention in everyway for everyone. Her husband is probably so used to it he doesn't even see what is going on. Has he said something to your husband?
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 9:11 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • You don't have to hang out with her, but you should be polite. It sounds like you have very different personalities, and that's ok - not everyone is going to be friends, you know? There's no reason for you and your DH to fight about her bad behavior, the nice thing to do was wish her a happy birthday, even if she didn't do the same.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:13 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • That you will treat her as she treats you. Just because he is friends with him does not mean you have to be friends with her.
    kjbennett26

    Answer by kjbennett26 at 9:08 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I would tell DH she is not my cup of tea its one thing to civil but its clear this woman only sees herself and the friendship would be a waste of your time. I have friends or so called friends like this and quietly I just excused myself from them. Is her husband like her as well GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:10 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • The only person whose behavior you can control is your own. If she isn't as thoughtful as you and your husband, then all you can do is to ignore this. Be cordial at parties and don't expect a close friendship with her.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:10 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • ditto to kjbennett26
    Mommy_0f_many

    Answer by Mommy_0f_many at 9:10 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • He and I have gone through ups and downs with them for years. I said it was an oversight to wish her a happy birthday since he rekindled his friendship with his best friend.She does not even call him on his birthday. I ignore her after hello , how are you.
    mamacita69930

    Comment by mamacita69930 (original poster) at 9:18 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I don't understand. Why do you have to be besties with her, just because it's HIS best friend?
    I hate my DH's bf's wife. She's rude, manipulative and just psycho. Doesn't mean I prevent him from seeing his best friend or talking to him. Their relationship hasn't changed any.
    Just let him know that you don't CARE if they're still best friends, but you and her just do not mesh, and yes, there will come times where you'll all be under the same roof in get-togethers, but that he shouldn't force you in to a friendship with her. You're not 3, and don't need playdates. You're perfectly capable of choosing your own friends.
    ManicMomma02

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 9:20 AM on Jun. 29, 2010