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What should I do for the next time?

There was a pasta and cook out at an ethnic club my fil is in charge of. I decided to get dressed up dressy. So my son who was 14 called his grandmother and told her I was too overdressed. So when my husband came home from work he told me I was overdressed I got changed to casual and was not thrilled about it.Then he told me I had Jersey hair.So when I got to the party there was a lady dressed just like I was but even worse with green shoes and I pointed it out to my husband and his response was in her defense she is getting ready for Florida , she looked Florida style. So it is ok for that lady but I am also going to Florida and of course I can not dress like that for that place. It would be out of place. I was embarrassed and somewhat belittled by my husband. What can I say to just recitify the situation?


Asked by mamacita69930 at 9:37 AM on Jun. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,886 Credits)
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Answers (11)
  • My 1st response after reading your ? was "Why is a 14 yr old telling his mother what to wear? & then calling grandma who in turn called dad? WTF?" but I've been thinking about it as I've read the other answers & your clarification helped. Sounds to me like you need hubby to take you out somewhere where you can get all dressed up & enjoy an evening out. I remember being MORTIFIED by an outfit my mom wore when I was 14, appearance is important to them @ this age & he probably didn't want you to stand out. By being dressier than everybody there he would have heard about it from his friends, or @ least this is what he thinks will happen. I think you should pick & choose your battles. You have a right to wear what ever you want whenever you want where ever you want! Just realize that ppl judge you based on how you're dressed (yea I don't like it either!) & your 14 yr old doesn't want to be "embarrased" over your fashion sense.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:59 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Sounds like maybe you should start laying our your 14 year olds clothing and make him wear what you feel is appropriate. I'm not sure why but this really bothers me. Why does a 14 year odl have control over either one of his parents?? Your husband needs to let you be you.

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 9:40 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • It doesn't sound like he was complementing the other woman, more like explaining why she was dressed that way? I'm a little surprised that your son would call his grandmother and discuss what you were going to wear - I think that if a 14 yo would think you were overdressed maybe you were? I think your husband didn't want you to be embarrassed by being overdressed for the event.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:43 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Either you will trust his sense of fashion or you will trust your own. If you like to be dressed up and it is your style then just tell him that you dont care what others think you just want to look good and go dressed up. If you want to dress how your husband likes yoo then you will prob see other girls wearing stuff you wish you could be wearing. I'm sure you looked fine at the party but it woulda helped if he admitted he was wrong and that your 1st outfit would have been ok.

    Answer by ria7 at 9:45 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • wear what you want! no way should your 14 year old have that kind of "power"... i know it's just clothes, but your son just called his grandmother and told her, then she called your husband, and your husband "fixed" it... sounds like crap to me.

    Answer by gracefulsky at 9:45 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Sorry I think I have rented fingers today, can't type! lol... I meant laying "out" your 14 year olds clothes. Next time wear what you want to wear.

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 9:42 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I agree with Lifes-a-dance...Wear what you want.

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 9:45 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I feel your pain my hubby doesn't get the dressing up part of life. He thinks jeans and a tee shirt are fiting most of the time. He says stuff to me and I just ignore him. And I agree with previous post why does your 14 have a say. I would have sat him down and said do not call your grandma and talk about me thats rude. Your an adult you can dress how you want!

    Answer by homemaker4him at 9:49 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • The question is why is your 14 year old reporting you to the authorities? And who made them the authorities? I would also have felt belittled. Sounds like the issue is control. I would be very surprised if anything you could say would make everything okay.

    Answer by ERR2 at 9:53 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • To clarify my son called and asked his grandmother if it was a dressy night and I told him to wear a collared shirt and he did what I told him.But he said I was too overdressed like I was going to a graduation party.

    Comment by mamacita69930 (original poster) at 9:50 AM on Jun. 29, 2010