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Have you ever felt like you want to leave them all and be the fun part time mom?

I'm in a blended family for 16 years.I thought it would get better after she(step daughter) was grown.It hasn't.I am the strong one in our relationship.I am the one who is responsible.I am the one who does all the mom things and gets no appreciation or credit for all I do.I am the one who keeps peace.I am the one who holds this family together.I am the one who is tired.I really want to walk away and leave them all to wallow in their own misery.Any one feel this way too?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Jun. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • sure, who hasn't?? there've been a few times i just had to get out, i wanted to scream so loud and long..but its all out of frustration, being out of control of life..the normal atrocities that come with being a control-freak, and feeling like i'm the only one who's responsible for making the world go around.
    thing is..that's not reality. no matter how bad the situation is, you can only control what you do. not anyone else. also, when i have hopped in the car and said, 'later, man. i'm outta here!'..i've only been gone a couple hours at best, and usually, still so mad that i can't enjoy myself. but even then, by leaving my guys, i am forced to realize that when i come back home, things are still taken care of, no one has died or burn himself, and my dh CAN actually be responsible for the house/child. *sighhhh*
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:14 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I don't think its going to matter, other than you can take pride in the fact that you put in the special effort to help create a stable and loving world for a child. Now that she is grown, put all of your energy into any of your other children and your husband. I'm sorry they aren't grateful for all you have done. Rest and reflect on all the good things. If there are no other children, maybe it is time for you to consider stepping away as you said, You've earned it. Not every family is blessed with a caring and understanding stepmother. This child was one of the lucky ones. Time to take care of yourself. Just be sure you give your hubby a warning about the change headed his way and what the objective is. Enjoy your life and take care of yourself!
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 10:19 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • yes, I have had those moments and I usually go do something for myself or something fun and relaxing and let them all deal with each other. It sounds like you need some more "me" time!
    lil_angel00

    Answer by lil_angel00 at 10:58 AM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Yep I was that way for two years, until I finally went and go counseling. I did completely snap and I knew it was coming, I left everything for 8 months. I took the time to work on myself. I can tell you leaving the children was the hardest thing I did, but I knew they would be better off at the time without me. What I learned is that I'm co-dependent, being responsible for everything, keeping everything together, doing what was best for the family or the husband with no account for how I felt about it. It will wear you down, it will make you tired and it will make you miserable.
    If I had known this earlier maybe I wouldn't have left, the best thing you can do for yourself is starting asking for help, stop doing so much for everyone else and take time for yourself, get in tune with your thoughts, your feelings and what you need - it sounds selfish but honestly its not - you're just as important as everyone else.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:55 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Yep, I feel that way all the time.  Especially when my husband lives in another state (so I'm home alone, 9 months pregnant with 4 kids and no car and exhausted) and has the audacity to say that he isn't sure he wants up to move with him because he just doesn't "feel" the same way about us anymore.  What kind of bull is that?


    I told him he can take the kids, then, and I'll go live on my own and we'll see how he really feels.  We worked it out, though (we have issues, to say the least).


    My sil actually did it.  She was living with her boyfriend and their 2 kids and just got fed up one day and left.  She moved across town (which was just like 10 miles) and hasn't lived with them since.  But she still did a lot of the mom stuff, picking them up from school and watching them until her BF got home from work, taking them on the weekends, etc.

    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:23 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • the thought crossed my mind once before but i would never act on it. i love my family and even though it is stressful and tiring i must admit i feel accomplished with holding my family together.
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 5:29 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

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