Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How do I get over this?

My ex and I were together for 4 1/2 years. I was head over heals in love with this man. I never in my life thought it was possible to love someone the way I loved him. We have a beautiful little girl together as well and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and the fact that without him I would have never met her makes it that much harder.

We split up because he had some issues in his life that were very hard to deal with. I was ALWAYS supportive and I did absolutely everything in my power to help him but he could not accept my help because he's the kind of guy that does not want to admit he needs help so the problem could never get better. So I left because all my efforts would always go to waste and if he'd just accept that he needed my help it would have been fixed easily. We had a terrible break up and I know we can't be together but I miss him so much...how do I get over this?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Jun. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • time. counseling and a lot of crying. and realizing that people can only help themselves , he will not change or let you in unless he wants to. realize that life is full of ups and downs and that maybe you too were not the best match.

    Is he wanting you back? perhaps if you are not ready to give up you can go to counseling together, if you feel that it is over and there is no more left to do and you tried your best then there is nothing left to do but to work on yourself knowing that you did all you could for him and find peace in that.
    TaiM

    Answer by TaiM at 12:00 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • There is no easy answer to this or an easy fix. Only time heals a broken heart. Just take it one day at a time...focus on yourself and your baby. His problems are now really his own to deal with. Its easier said than done, I know. Some days will be easier than others and some days you may break down and cry..and thats okay..crying is good and helps it get it out. In time, the feelings that you have for him will fade..but never be forgotten, I am sure. It will get easier. Just hang in there and take care of you!
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:01 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Get some counseling so you don't make the same mistake twice with the same sort of man. They can help you with the tools you need to move on. True love is never forgotten. You will always think of him and wish it could have been different. Love your little girl. You will always have him in your life in one shape or form because of your beautiful daughter. Get help so they can help you learn to deal with it. There is free counseling out there if you can't afford it. Catholic Charities is a good place to start, and you don't have to be catholic to use it.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 12:02 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Time...

    You may never get over it, but time will heal your wounds. Don't isolate your self or dwell on what could have been. Do what needs to be done now. Hang out with friends and family keep your self occuppied. That would be the best thing you can do.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 12:08 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I think you need to come to accept that you did what you could for your relationship and I think that can be the greatest way that you can move on, accepting that you were there, accepting you gave it your all and accepting the fact that you didn't just walk away from it all. Cry if you need to but you also need to try to let it go, 12 years is a long time to invest on one person, it will not be overnight that you will get over him, take your time and let yourself heal, a broken heart can be fixed, if you let yourself, one day. ((hugs))
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 12:09 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • You learn to let go of the relationship and move forward by healing internally. He doesn't sound like he was abusive or anything like that towards you but he did break your heart....you loved him, so getting over the love is impossible to do but getting over the things he did to push you away is the focus here.
    treasured_hope

    Answer by treasured_hope at 12:11 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN