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My DH just told me that he wished he wasn't here and that we have to stay together because I am pregnant...

We have been fighting and a bunch of mean things were said (on both our parts) that are just too much. He called me just now and I told him that he's never lived with anyone before me let aone had a family (I have a DD who is not his) and that he was still learning how to deal with the situation and he then said "I wish I wasn't even in this situation" Then told me I had to stay with him because I am pregnant... What the hell am I supposed to say to that. I told him he was crazy if he thought I was going to stay in a relationship with someone who is unwilling to work on problems simply because I'm pregnant...

I'm crushed... Is it just me or were those really jacked up things to say right now?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Jun. 29, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • It may just be the emotions of becoming a new daddy. I know you have a child from another relationship but it's not the same to him. You may want to see someone to talk about it. Otherwise, I would call his bluff and tell him to get out. Don't stay with me just because I'm pregnant. I would say if he wants to be here, he needs to work on it cause I can do it all on my own.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:55 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Don't take any action right now other than asking him whether he wants to talk about it when he gets home. Also arrange for counseling for both of you. You can have somebody lined up to call of an appointment for as soon as possible, by the time he gets home.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 1:07 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Is he feeling neglected? Have you gotten him involved in the pregnancy and planning? Lots of guys feel rejected when a new baby gets thrown in the mix. They need to know that you care about them too.

    That being said, he shouldn't have said that to you. Now it is up to you if you want to forgive and try to work on things. If he is totally not involved, I say let him go. He'll never be happy and will just make your life (and the baby's) miserable with his attitude.
    Shymama3

    Answer by Shymama3 at 1:30 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I think you both should sit down together and say "how has it come to this? Where do we go from here?" And both of you calmly talk about what is going on, and if you want to keep the marriage or not. If you BOTH want to keep the marriage then I strongly urge you to attend marriage counseling. The key to a good marriage is communication, both of you willing to sit down talk things out, listening to the other and sometimes making compromises. Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:42 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • jacked up to say
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:02 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • The illusion of marriage and kids is always better than reality. It is not nice for him to say these things but I am sure he is just stressed and feeling disillusioned. I think we all feel like "what the hell have I got myself into" at some point. Just relax. Keep in mind next time you fight and avoid mean comments. They sting and really are not needed. Fight fair.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 2:21 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • He is probably just going through some stress realizing that now that he's having a baby of his own he's living the real father life. But either way I wldnt be with someone whose only with me for their baby. That's why there's child support
    elliebaby

    Answer by elliebaby at 2:22 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

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