Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you think there are diferent 'levels' to CIO?

I always here CIO is horrible from some but I see it a little differently. Like I don't believe in CIO for hours or even longer than 20 min with my children and not until after 6 months. I would let mine CIO for 10 min at a time then go in a and hold calm and reassure then start over. CIO 10 min go in and reassure... I just see that different that CIO for a long periods or starting at 3 days old or something. Do you think there are different ways of doing CIO or is it all the same to you? Obviously everyone should do what id best for there family of course! Just curious.

 
But_Mommie

Asked by But_Mommie at 12:58 PM on Jun. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 44 (181,645 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I think everyone has a different idea of what CIO means and those that are dead set against it (and vocal about it) are the ones that think it means just letting a baby cry for hours on end without caring.  That's hardly how I decribe it. 


    For me I couldn't let them cry more then 20-30 minutes and that was with me checking on them several times.  And it depened completely on the child and what the cry sounded like.  One of my kids was the kind that would cry and cry for no reason.  Cuddling did nothing (if anything they would fight you and want to be put down).  I learned to just let that one go until they cried themselves to sleep.  Another kid might not make it past 5 minutes before I decided the cry sounded wrong and they needed something else.  It was very individual and we used it more with some kids than others.  It worked for us.

    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:28 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Our CIO didn't start until 9 months or so and even then it was let her cry for 5 mins, check, then 10 mins then check, then 15. She was always asleep by 12-13 mins anyway. I think that if you start them too young, they have a fear that mommy will not come back.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:00 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I agree with you
    I think there are def diff levels.
    I wouldn't let my baby lay there and cry and cry to no end - but I would give them a few minutes to try to settle them selves
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 12:59 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I believe CIO shouldn't go over 20 minutes at a time. And no child should have to CIO under six months of age. Simply because six months is when they start manipulating and testing their bounderies, etc. I don't believe it causes any trauma, scars, or anything of that nature. Even if the child has seperation anxiety as it is, it can actually help them when you show back up. They realize that you will come back. Unless you let it go longer the 20 minutes. If a child is left to cry for hours that can cause some serious emotional damage to the child. But 20 minutes or less will not.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:05 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I didnt necessarily follow the CiO method, but I did allow my son 5 minutes. Fussing doesnt always mean they are in dire need, but they might just be trying to get comfortable or letting out some steam. SO and I noticed the more we checked up on him right away, the harder it was for him to fall asleep. if my son escalated to a cry or continued fussing more than 5 minutes I checked up on him.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 1:08 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I think it's all on knowing your child. I can tell by the sound of the cry whether or not my 11 month old is just cranky and will fall asleep after a few minutes or if he's really upset and needs someone to get him.
    Kim3787

    Answer by Kim3787 at 1:13 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I agree with Kim3787...Sometimes my daughter (17months) has to go to bed @6P before dinner because she will fall asleep in her highchair, SERIOUSLY. So, when she wakes up crying at 9 or 10 I know she is hungry and I fix her dinner and a drink. After 11 months old CIO is an appropriate measure to try to convince your child that they CAN put themselves to sleep. At 11 months they already have a good bond with their primary parent they know mommy is there and there is nothing wrong with going in every 10 - 15 minutes to reassure the child. Whether you pick him/her up is a personal preference. For some moms to claim that CIO causes attachment problems is ridiculous especially since I deal with Reactive Attachment Disorder on a daily basis with my nephew and my son because their mothers are/were less than attentive in every aspect of their 0-18 months stage. It is more than allowing your baby to cry for a few minutes at night.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 1:37 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I did every 5 minutes. Crying is the only communication a baby has.. if you let them cry to long they think you are never going to come and they feel helpless and despair. I refused to let my child fall asleep thinking I wasn't there for them. I went in every 5 minutes and simply placed my had on their backs so they knew I was there if they needed me... the crying never seemed to last longer then 15-20 mins. before they settled down and would fall asleep quietly after blowing off a little steam. But what was important to me was they fell asleep knowing I would come if they needed me, and they didn't feel alone or abandoned!! ;o)

    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 2:33 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • There are definitely extremes to the CIO method and to a degree, I think EVERYONE uses it. We just aren't physically capable of jumping up to stop a crying baby immediately every single time. I know there were times when I would wait a minute to see if my son would hush up before I'd get him when he was little and I was not a user of the traditional CIO concept (I just couldn't handle it and it didn't seem to work very well with my son).

    I think most moms think there is a limit to the method, though. I don't know many people who are ok with letting their kids cry for hours unchecked. That just seems painful and awful for everyone involved.
    mickstinator

    Answer by mickstinator at 2:54 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Yeah I agree with a lot of you. With mine it had to be fussing. I could TELL if it was problem vs. just cranky and fussy.
    But_Mommie

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 1:18 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

Next question in General Parenting
Grounding

Next question overall (Relationships)
The monster-in-law

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN