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My SO said he wants to stay with me for the kids...

I then told him no way in hell am I going to stay in an unhappy relationship for my kids and then he said he loves me and wants to work it out. I have trouble believing that he actually wants to work it out, I feel like he is just saying that to get me to stay, for the kids. How do I know if I can believe him?

 
allfiller

Asked by allfiller at 3:51 PM on Jun. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (802 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Staying together for the sake of the kids is a terrible idea. All it does is build resentment and show your kids that being a "normal" family in the eyes of society is more important than being happy.

    If you're unhappy in your relationship and you don't see any hope of it getting better, then do something about it sooner rather than later.
    No point in dragging your kids through a messy divorce later on.

    Try marriage counseling to see if it helps. But don't just be together for the kids. Your kids will be fine. If you are happy and he is happy and you guys can get along as friends and parents then that will be far more beneficial to your children then living in a home with parents who resent each other and argue all of the time.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 3:56 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Does it matter? If you're not willing to stay with him what difference does it make?

    And if he is just staying for the kids at this point, but you love him and think you can work it out, then staying for the kids is a start.

    Either way, you don't need to believe him. You only need to know what you want.
    Bezu

    Answer by Bezu at 3:52 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Ask yourself..how many men do you actually know...or better yet..how many women tell you about thier man that is just there for the kids? Most men see it as an open door and they hit the pavement faster than you can blink an eye if they no longer love the woman or think that thier relationship can work.
    If he's willing to try to work it out with ya, and you feel the same and you still love him, then its worth the shot.
    I wish ya luck!
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:54 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Try to just simple date him without the kids and see how you feel.
    christine121

    Answer by christine121 at 3:55 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • *can't
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:56 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Of course he's going to tell you that he's going to change when he knows that you're leaving him...who wants to be left? Think about it...if you stay for the kids, who's that helping, you? Him? the kids? If you leave for a better future, who would benefit the most? You? Him? the kids? When you begin taking life steps, you must way your options before making any major moves and always have your ducks in a row as not to repeat the same thing over and over again...
    treasured_hope

    Answer by treasured_hope at 4:02 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I would ask him if he loves you just ask him and when he says yes or no I would ask him how is staying here for the kids going to make either of us happy after I would run to a counselor first you then maybe both of you to find out if it can be saved. Then if you know you can make a plan on where you want to go or what you want from your life?

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:20 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

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