I have just signed my rights over to my 3 girls. I am having a hard time dealing with it. The adopted mom said that she would keep it a open adoption but in are state open adoption isent legal so it pretty much is her word. Well it has been almost 6 months and I have hurd nothing from her. My daughters birthday is in a few days and I sent a present for her and a picture of me. They are all so young I wounder if it is better for them if I just stay gone. What should I do?? HelpAnswer Question
Answer by MiddletonFamily at 4:18 PM on Jun. 29, 2010
Answer by Claudiomom at 4:19 PM on Jun. 29, 2010
Answer by doodlebopfan at 4:29 PM on Jun. 29, 2010
Answer by doodlebopfan at 4:30 PM on Jun. 29, 2010
Answer by Iamgr8teful at 5:08 PM on Jun. 29, 2010
You have suffered a severe loss. And so has your mother, I'm surprised she expects you to get over it so quickly. You do need counseling, I got a therapist to help me with my adoption grief and she was really helpful. I think it's very understandable for you to feel like your children were stolen from you.
As far as your children go, no I don't think it would be better for them if you stayed gone. You do need to accept that they have a new mom now, but don't think they will get over being separated from you so easily. Continue to send letters and gifts to your girls. Send copies to the Lawyer or Agency that handled your adoption and ask them to keep copies in the file in case they don't get to your girls. Also keep copies for yourself.
Answer by onethentwins at 5:55 PM on Jun. 29, 2010
Continued. Adoptees need to know that their mothers loved them and didn't forget them. It hurts them to think you just gave them away and didn't look back and they often wonder if there was something wrong with them to make you not want them. It's important to keep sending the message to your children that you love them and think about them.
Show the adoptive parents that you are stable and doing well in your life so that they are not threatened by your presence and they may well relax and start being more open with you. Best of luck and I'm so sorry for your loss.
Answer by onethentwins at 5:58 PM on Jun. 29, 2010
Answer by doodlebopfan at 7:29 PM on Jun. 29, 2010
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