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As a new step mom, how do you get through a pending custody battle with a malicious BM and her new boyfriend?

I am having the hardest time keeping depression, resentment, and sadness away. My husband has gotten along for the last 4 years since their divorce. They share joint custody. Ever since the BM started a relationship with a controlling new boyfriend, we are now forced to pursue full custody and are being tortured along the way. All we want is for the child to be safe and in a stable environment. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Jun. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • This happened to a lady I know from church. The boyfriend would call and talk to her, the new stepmom and curse at her. I don't know how she handles it. You may need counseling.

    I can only hope they either break up or find someone else to torture.

    Answer by LauraMi261 at 4:26 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • There are some really good step-parenting groups on Cafe Mom, they may be able to help further - but the number one rule is that you can't negotiate with a terrorist. (I'm a step mom too, can you tell? :) Follow the court order to the letter, don't engage with the BM or her boyfriend unless it's in writing, and don't ever talk about the situation when the kid(s) is around.

    I'm sorry, sounds like you're in for a bumpy ride.

    Answer by Scuba at 4:26 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I'm so sorry. I think the only thing you can do is stay strong with your husband!

    Answer by rockinmomto2 at 4:33 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Im not sure the ages of the children, but the most important thing is to think about what you are saying around the children. The bashing and bad mouthing of the other parent leaves the child conflicted and confused. They often times feel like they are being pulled in different directions and often feel ignored by the drama that is taking place in court. Talking to the other person while the child is in the room or nearby thinking the child isn't listening or isnt paying attention can do some harm to the child. They may seem fine now, but as they age they may develop issues that may be difficult to help them with.

    Answer by lawmom27 at 4:34 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

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