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3 Bumps

How long is too long for a visit from a MIL?

Today we get an e-mail from my MIL, stating that she's about to buy a plane ticket...for an eleven day visit. Now, I like her, and it's nice to have the help with my son, but...11 days? Is it just me, or is this kind of a lot to plan on without even asking us? She visits every few months, and usually it's for about 5 days at a time. She doesn't want to get a hotel, so that means she'll be staying with us. My husband has a really hard time getting that much time off of work, and is upset that she wants to stay that long. He has a bigger problem with it than I do. It's just hard for me to share my home 24/7 for 11 days. Is that wrong of me? I'm a private person, and I just find it difficult...so does my husband, because she's constantly telling him how he needs to do things differently, correcting him, etc. Anyways...how could we nicely tell her that about 7 days would be better, lol?

 
LovingSAHMommy

Asked by LovingSAHMommy at 6:51 PM on Jun. 29, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 40 (115,957 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Wow that is incredibly rude. I don't understand how anyone would have the balls to plan a trip to someone's house for 11 days without ever asking if that was okay. I really think he just needs to be honest with her and tell her that 11 days is a little much and 5 or 7 would be better. Sure she might get upset but she'll get over it. Honesty is the best policy instead of everyone walking around secretly upset and annoyed.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 7:02 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Sometimes its easier to just be frank and say, gosh it would be so nice if that would work out but we only have "x" number days free this time. If my MIL came for 11 days, I think I'd be getting the hotel. Love my husband to death but he needs to entertain his mother.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 7:00 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Gosh, you are a lot nicer than I would be I would just say NO!. My MIL lives across town, but a couple hours is way more than enough for me. If you have to make something up but don't let her make you feel uncomfortable in your own home.
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 6:53 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I don't blame you, my inlaws once stayed with us when we lived in GA for 10 days. I thought I'd lose my mind!! That was before we even had kids so I can't imagine having my MIL staying that long with us having kids too!! I'd let your husband tell her that he can't take that much time off of work and that a shorter visit would be better for everyone.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 6:54 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • lol good luck with that one. A 5 minute visit is way too long for my MIL lol she's crazy. We prefer to go visit her, and not very often lol. we're afraid if she comes here, she'll NEVER leave!
    GavinsMommii

    Answer by GavinsMommii at 6:54 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • i had my mil live with us for a couple months..i would say let her stay with you maybe you guys can get a relationship going...me and my mil are great ever since she stayed with us that long...and my mil was very controlling, telling me what i was doing wrong and always moving stuff around in the house and cleaning and going in my and dh room..but now we are perfect! ever since i made it clear that this is our house! Good luck!
    mommylisar

    Answer by mommylisar at 6:55 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • 1 hour. I'm srprised she takes off her coat, she is obviously still annoyed I married her child and she looks utterly uncomfortable to be in my home.
    Nakashama

    Answer by Nakashama at 6:57 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Your husband shouldn't feel like he has to take all the time she is visiting off from work. This is a tricky one. Good luck!
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:00 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • anything more then 15 minutes is to long for my MIL!!! LOL
    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 7:03 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Well first of all this trip was planned by her not you. It seems like she made a choice and decided to invited herself. Not to mention for that long, it would drive me nuts. Everyone is different. I believe 2 or 3 days max. Your hubby needs to step it up and respect your privacy. Your not neglecting her visit just not in agreement for so long. Ask him to give a talk to his mom before all the trip is planned.  That's my suggestion! LOL! Good Luck!

    PinkRose282

    Answer by PinkRose282 at 7:05 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

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