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What would you do?

I'm in a relationship with my SO. Have been for several years. We have one kid and one on the way. My problem is that I spend a lot of time building up my education, and working through my debt. I work part time for my parents at one job and part time at their other business. Ever since SO got laid off a year ago he only has one part time job. He hasn't even taken the time to look for another in the past 5 months. With a new baby on the way you'd think you'd be in more of a hurry to secure another job or if you couldn't find one, go back to school to try to get better jobs? I just feel like there is no effort on his part to work toward making a better life for our children lately. I'm nearly out of debt and could raise the children myself, and lately I feel like that's what i should be doing. I can't even talk to him about it because he won't sit long enough to discuss it.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Jun. 29, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I know this sounds weird.. But when my husband wont sit down for long enough for me to say what I have to say.. Sometimes I just write him a letter instead. Lol.. Sounds kind of silly but it works. I just give him the letter and leave the room and usually he will come find me after hes read the whole thing.. Just explain to him how you really feel. Sometimes I feel like if I write it all down it helps to clear my head as well.. And you dont have to hear him trying to talk over you while youre trying to get your point across. Goodluck either way.
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 8:06 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I would tell him to get up off his lazy a** and find another job.
    itsallabtthem84

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 7:43 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • He needs to find a job to help support your family, in this economy (and with another child on the way!), it's not enough to work part time. You need to sit him down and talk about finances, and start setting some new goals (since your debt is almost paid off.)
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 7:51 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I hate ultimatums, but sometimes there is no other option. You need to tell him that he needs to try and get a job before the baby is born. I understand the economy, and I don't know how far along you are, but he needs to at least try. He needs to prove to you and that baby that he is going to help take care of his family no matter what. If he decides that this is too much, then you are going to raise the baby on your own. If you still love him, he can find you after he grows up, BUT you mat realize that you are happier with out him. That's what I found out with my dd's dad. No matter what happens, take care of yourself and good luck. I hope he straightens out, and if not, I hope you ar happy no matter what.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 8:58 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Once I realized I was doing it all I got rid of my lazy bum dh. My life was a lot easier too once he was gone!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:06 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • sounds like you need to make a decision based on what is going on rather than what you wish. if he's not doing what he needs to do and is not willing to sit down and listen, then there's not much else you can do other than cut loose the dead weight. you might want to try letting him know that you are at the end of your rope with the relationship and if he doesn't choose to sit down and hear you and put forth effort you have come to terms with letting him go.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:54 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • what is he busy doing if he wont still long enough to talk? is he taking care of the child you have already while you work? because i would hardly call that doing NOTHING. does he do housework? etc?
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 7:52 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

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